


Murder He Wrote

by WritingForLouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (best of both worlds), (i'm to much of a cry baby to write sad endings), (neither graphic nor sexual), (the whole shabang), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Daddy Kink, Depressed Harry, Fluff and Smut, Hair Pulling Kink, Happy Ending, Killer AU, Killer!Louis, Lovely Killer Louis, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Possessive Louis, Stockholm Syndrome, Top Louis, Writer AU, graphic and non-graphic violence, writer!harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:17:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingForLouis/pseuds/WritingForLouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm a psychopathic killer whose threatened, kidnapped and forced you to love me."</p><p>"No, you're a psychopathic killer whose protected, defended and made me fall in love with you." </p><p>Louis murders people and Harry just wants to be loved. </p><p>//because the fandom wasn't blessed with enough Killer Au//</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Force

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains boyxboy material. If you do not like that, do not read this. There is also no rape, but dubious consent, if that makes you uncomfortable then please do not read. I do not own One Direction and this is completely fiction.  
> THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS ARE UTTERLY HORRIBLE AND SHORT THIS WAS BEFORE I LEARNED HOW TO WRITE AND THE REST ARE MY BEST CHAPTERS TRUST ME BABES
> 
> Enjoy xx

Heres some advice for you new authors out there, always turn in your manuscript on time. Why, you ask? Because if you don't your bossy Publicist will bitch at you for hours.

"It was due two days ago Harry!" Zayn bellowed, his scarlet locks disheveled, his eyes beady. He looks like he hasn't sleeped at all.

"Calm down Zayn, god! You're my Publicist not my mum." He's overreacting, who cares if I'm a couple days late, I'm not hurting anyone.

"You're making me look bad, if I don't have your manuscript my Friday I'm going to lock you in your office until I do, got it?"

I fake saluted him, "Yes Sir!"

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" Zayn chuckled

When I look back at it, maybe it wasn't such a brilliant idea too hire my best friend as my Publicist. He is constantly on my ass about my writing, and how it makes him 'look' bad. Its not even my fault, I've been struggling with an ending for my latest book, Control, because readers are complaining about how the killer always gets away with the murder in the end.

They say its 'unjustly' unjustly? Come on! When there is a perfect murderer and they commit the perfect crime, of course there gonna get away! If he didn't the story wouldn't make sense!

Others have complained that there tired of the same old plot line, they want romance, ha ha I write thriller novels not love stories.

And I'm tired of the police, they constantly show up at my door and bombard me with questions like "Do you know L.T?" "Have you ever met him?" and my personal favorite, "Are you working for or with L.T?" Like, yeah of course I'm working with a trained predator. They find it weird and suspicious that I dedicate my novels too him.

It may sound weird but he's my inspiration. He's always clean cut with the murders, He cuts them all with perfect precision's and the only evidence left of him is his infamous L.T carving he leaves carved into every victims forehead.

He also has no direct motive. The victims all range from a variety of ages and genders, also none of them have any relations with each other. Like I said before, the perfect murderer and the perfect crime.

So maybe I find him fascinating. Can you blame me? He's like every mystery murder authors wet dream.

"If that's all you'd like to discuss Zayn, I'd greatly appreciate it if you got out of my flat because frankly I have an ending to refine."

Zayn smiled at that, "Good! I'll be checking up on you later Harry. Peace." He walked steadily out of my flat door shaking his head.

I plopped onto my leather sofa, no way in hell am I going to start that now, I need inspiration. I stretched my arm across my stand and grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

No interesting news really, just a high school fight and an electrical fire. Ugh, nothing! What is a man supposed to do with that! Fuck this.

I sighed in exasperation, I am bloody tired, and I smell like a dead fish, I haven't been out of my flat for days!

I walked ruggedly to the bathroom mirror, fucking hell, my face looks worn out, my brown hair has gone astray and is matted to its hearts content. My clothes look like shit, wrinkled and littered with stains. I need a shower, ugh.

I quickly undressed myself and stepped into the shower. The warm water caressed my body. Damn, I need this. How am I going to clean my hair? Who knows what could be in there. I lathered my head with shampoo. Hopefully this will work, no way am I going out with nappy hair. The doorbell suddenly rang, "Fucking shit."

I scrambled out of the shower, hurriedly turning it off and grabbing the nearest towel and wrapped it around my waist.

"Who the fuck could that be!" I waddled too the door. I yanked the door open, "Oh um uh sorry too interrupt your shower Harry but we have some questions for you"

"Don't you fucking always." I hate the fucking police.

"Why don't you come in Officer Payne, not like you haven't been here before." Of course its the police. Who else would it be?! Annoying little shits.

"Um thanks I guess" Officer Payne muttered

"You can just sit on the sofa" I grumbled "I hope you don't mind my half-nakedness."

Liam shifted uncomfortably "No um lets just get on with the questions..." his face erupted into a blush, for a policeman he sure is easy to fluster.

Officer Payne has been showing up at my door for three years. Always asking the same old questions. He is attractive though, his hair cropped and always sharp plus he has a little beard growing. Attractive or not he is still quite annoying. For years he has been interrogating me, it gets quite old.

"Where were you Sunday between 7 and 10 pm.?"

"Like I would remember! God, I was out with a couple of mates." I sighed inwardly, not how I want to spend my Tuesday afternoon.

"Do you have anyone that can verify that Mr.Styles?"

"Are you kidding me right now? Yes, my friends and the bartender, okay? You want there addresses too so you can harass them also?!" Is he serious right know?

"No that's fine Mr.Styles, Do you recognize this women?" He reached into his pocket and took out a picture.

"Oh my god." I can't believe it... no. I felt bile rise in my throat.

"Do you know this women, Mr.Styles?"

"She's um my ex-girlfriend, from a year ago...." No way, it can't be her. I run my hands through my wet hair.

"Have you talked to her lately? Or have you seen her?" He looks intesified.

"No actually..., um if you don't mind me asking, what happened too her?" I looked desperate.

"She was murdered Mr.Styles" Duh! Its pretty obvious from the picture. "by L.T, we believe." shit.

How? Why? This doesn't make sense. "If you know its him then why are you here?" I can't believe this.

"We believe that he is coming after you, Mr.Styles" Officer Payne focuses on me. Why would he come after me? I haven't done anything wrong, have I?

"Why would he come after me?" I asked truthfully, my hands started to tremble at the thought.

"That is what we want to know. Did you do anything rash too him or maybe you wrote something about him that he didn't like. He could be tired of you writing about him." I'm shocked, baffeled really.

"No, I haven't done anything. Even if he was tired or annoyed with it, wouldn't you think he wouldv'e taken care of me a while ago?" I palmed my face in despair.

"Maybe he just found out. But be careful Harry, really, we don't want another murder on our hands." He got up from the sofa and scuffled to the door.

"Wow at least I know you guys care so much." I stated sarcastically. He shook his head and slammed the door.

Oh god, how am I going to sleep at night knowing that a killer is after me. I have to tell Zayn and Niall. No way am I going out anytime soon. But I need too know what happened to her, it couldn't be the normal killings, Payne didn't even know she was my ex. I have to find out were she was murdered and how. L.T would have to have known she was my ex, he wants my attention.

I grabbed my phone and called the local police station. "May I please receive Officer Liam Payne's number. This is Harry Edward Styles. Its regarding the murder of Taylor Swift"

"Thank you ma'am, goodbye." I dialed his number on my phone.

"Officer Payne." His gruff voice rang into my ear "Why hello Payne! Harry Styles here and I have a question for you."

"Harry, how did you get my number?!" He yelled through the phone.

"That's not important Officer, what is important though is where Taylor Swift, the murder victim who is um was my ex, was murdered and how because I know that you wouldn't have asked me about it if it was the normal murder, you didn't even know she was my ex." I heard Liam sigh through the phone.

"It would be better if you saw for yourself, Its in the alley next to Billiards Club, I presume you know where that is." I heard him chuckle.

"And right you are Officer, be there in 30 minutes."

"Harry."

"Yeah Payne?"

"Be prepared for what you see okay?"

"Um okay, see you there."

"Right Goodbye."

The phone call ended with a click, oh god L.T what did you do to her? I don't think I'm prepared for this at all.


	2. Shock Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating wow!! I changed up the writing style a bit (don't kill me!) I personally like it better. I will try to update as often as possible. Thank you for reading!

 

 

 

I was driving down Adwick Avenue when I saw the police task force detectives. They were scattered across the front of the club, most with looks of frustration, others with dread.

I quickly parked across the club, trying to avoid all major confrontation with the police. My mind was racing with the possibilities, _L.T couldn’t possibly be after me? Taylor could of been at the wrong place at the wrong time_. Though deep down I knew that wasn’t the truth. I paced myself as I walked the cracked concrete to the back alley. I used to go there all the time on my ‘business’ but knowing that this was the place of Taylor’s murder makes me want to vomit. It had to be a coincidence, I mean maybe Taylor was just out clubbing and walked out at the wrong time? Right? L.T couldn’t have known that that was one of my regular clubs or that I used to shack up in the alley way, all coincidence…I hope.

I found my breath dissipate as I looked at the scene before me. ‘I like to read’ was painted in a dark red across the gray bricked back wall of the alley. I felt my heart drop out of my body. A part of me prays to any God out there that that wasn’t about me or that it wasn’t Taylor’s blood on the wall. Maybe it was someone expressing their love for literature? Maybe L.T actually likes to read? Nope, not about me. Please.

I could hear someone yelling at me from the distance as I crossed over the police tape. Not like I could hear them from my heart pounding in my ears. I need to face the facts. It’s my fault Taylor’s dead. If I didn’t get a stupid obsession over a mass murderer this would not have happened. If I could keep it in my god damn pants this wouldn’t have happened either but why? Why Taylor? We haven’t spoken to each other since our break up.

“Sir what are you doing! This is a crime scene, if you don’t leave right now you’ll be charged with obstruction of evidence!” I turned to the owner of the voice, a plump little elder man.

“I’m Harry Styles, I have permission by the way. I was instructed by Officer Payne to come here.” It was a little white lie, but I was desperate to find out more and this old grump wasn’t going to get in my way. “You’re the Harry guy whose been writing about his um what do you call it? Sexual fantasies with a murderer? Never read em’ but that’s disgusting. I don’t care who gave you permission, go wank off to killers in your home.” He gave me a cold glare, I stuttered uncontrollably.

What the fuck?!

“No! Mate you’ve got this all wrong! I write murder mystery novels about L.T, not um sexual fantasies! I’m here because your co-workers believe I could be of some assistance to the case.” , I shook my head as he huffed in disagreement. What did I really expect? Some know it all cop to actually understand me. Not even my family understands me.The plump cop scoffed and walked away, leaving me at the crime scene

. I saw the out line of what seemed to be Taylor’s body on the ground, it doesn’t even resemble the human body. I could feel tears creeping there way out of my eyes. I wiped my eyes fiercely with my jacket, willing away the crushing guilt. I don’t have time for crying, I’m here to find the truth.

I approached a woman who seemed to be a forensic investigator. “Excuse me ma’am but what seemed to have happened here?” She almost questioned me but took in my appearance and smiled. “The victim, Taylor, was apparently going into the back alley for a smoke, according to her friends, then from what our forensic pathologists can see she was then bludgeoned with a slim object and then brutally dissected and um I don’t know if you want to here the rest.” She looked at me in almost a concerning way, but I don’t need sympathy. “I can take it, trust me.” I said, then she took a deep breath.

“She was stabbed, five times, in her vaginal area. But not raped, not even by the knife or object that was used. Just stabbed their repeatedly.”

I could feel bile rising in my throat. “Wa-was she alive during that?” I happened to gasp out.

“No, she was already dead by the time they did that, but from what I can tell, you already know who it was, right? L.T? I over heard your conversation with Officer Markus over there. If it means anything, I adore your writing.”

I gave her a weak smile, “I’m glad you do, and yes I know about the marking on her forehead. I just, do you think this was a message for me?” I ruffled my hair in frustration.

She nodded curtly, “I’m sorry to say this but yes. I mean it was your ex-girlfriend, near a club you go to often and also that message is pretty obvious. Who else writes novels and dedicates them to L.T?” I guess that should of been a given, but oh how I wish it wasn’t true.

“I um guess so, I should be going though. I’m no use over here.” I shuffled my feet on the concrete, the feeling of depression catching up on me once again. “Wait! Um, would you like to meet up for coffee later? To discuss the murder of course, we could actually use your help.” a tint of red colored her pale cheeks.

As much as I would love to help, I felt that I would be giving her the wrong message. “I’m sorry but I’ll have to decline, I have a novel to finish and a murderer to hide from.” I stifled a awkward laugh. She sighed in defeat but still held up a shy smile, she moved her black hair behind her ear.

“Well, you better go work on that. Oh! My name is Elise by the way. It was lovely to meet you, I hope this isn’t the last time though.” I gave her a curt nod. “Of course it won’t Elise. Nice to meet you too.”

I turned to walk away from her but a hand shot out pulling me back.

“Stay safe okay?”, Elise looked at me in concern. She was very caring, I respected that but I can take care of myself. “I will.” I said as she let go of my arm.

I slowly walked back to my car, feeling eyes burning the back of my head. I turn back to find Elise talking to another co-worker, maybe I’m just paranoid.

**~~~~~**

I was on the highway when my phone suddenly started ringing, I’m to busy to be creative with it so for now it was just the automatic ringtone. I picked it up in a haste, driving while using the phone is not a good combination but right now, with all this drama, I’ll accept it.

“Harry, I heard about what happened on the news mate. Fucking sucks that Tay died, but haha that’s the circle of life!! I was wondering if you had time to come to a lil party of mine tonight? Actually no never mind I’m forcing you to come, I haven’t seen your gorgeous face in forever!” Ah, I forgot this was the reason I never answer my phone with out checking the caller id. Niall always seemed to come up with crazy excuses to get drunk. He was my old drinking buddy in UNI.

“Niall, I just don’t think that’s possible. She was killed, I mean that’s a big deal.” I hear a deep sigh on the other end.

“I-I know Haz, but I just don’t want you t’ fall apart over her again. She didn’t deserve to die but ya don’t have to put yourself through all that pain. She wouldn’t of wanted that. I just want you to forget about all that, I miss you ya know? You are one of my closest friends. I don’t want t’ lose you over this.” I felt a pang in my heart, hearing Niall upset made me feel guilty for pushing him away.

He never really had it easy with making friends. They didn’t like his outgoing personality, which I thought was one of his best traits.

“I’ll go okay?”, I could practically see Niall smiling now. “That’s amazing! You won’t regret it Hazzy!” I cringed at my old nickname. “I have a feeling that I already am regretting it.”, Niall just laughed at my comment and hung up.

Why can’t I ever say no?

I let out a sigh as I turned into my driveway. I won’t get super drunk tonight, I actually do need to finish my book. Ugh, all this drama today is killing me, pun not intended.I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

 **Niel Whoran:** _Haaaz, I’m picking u up at 9 bro, better get dressed and look fine fo dem ladies (and men boi I see how u roll)_

I groaned, he never seems to let go of the fact that I said I ‘might’ fancy boys, I was drunk in my defense. I still haven’t come to terms with my sexuality, it’s a pending process.

 **Haz The Hunk:** _I don’t need you to pick me up. I am capable of driving to whatever hell you take me too but I don’t have the time nor energy to argue. I’m not even going to comment about the gay joke or your horrible grammar._

**Niel Whoran** **:** _sh_ _ut up gOd, you’re soon bORINg now. I’m pickin u up n its final! Now go want 2 sum L.T murders or whatevs u do._

I didn’t have the energy to keep up this mindless banter with him any longer. I rubbed my temple, as I walked into my house, not stopping for food, I don’t have any time to really eat properly anymore.

I just wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. I just don’t know how to feel about this whole thing anymore. L.T, Taylor, Niall, and Zayn … so much to do and so much shit I don’t understand.

My phone rang again, I was already upset and didn’t feel like answering but life doesn’t always go as planned.

I picked up my phone, “Ello? This is Harry Styles.” I said into the speaker.

I got nothing at first, “Is this a prank? I really don’t ha-“

“Hi beautiful, you really should eat. It isn’t healthy and I don’t want my darling’s pretty face to get any skinnier.”

I froze at the sickeningly sweet words, the raspy high pitched voice, it was defiantly male, I hate to admit that it sounded like heaven to my ears. How does he know I haven’t eaten yet? “Who are you? I also am not your ‘darling’.” I huffed, trying to sound a little confident.

I heard a soft chuckle on the other end. “You know who I am lovely. You haven’t seen me but oh have I seen you. So pretty, all for me.”

I was disgusted with his words, who does he think he is? “You’re a fucking stalker! I am in fact not yours and shall never be.” I reached to hang up, until he replied.

“Says the one who writes books about me.”

I stopped breathing. No, no, no! L.T? H-he knows who I am, he knows my number, he knows where I live….he wants to fucking kill me. I felt my knees buckle beneath me as my lips wobbled.

“Cat got your tongue Curly? Now that I think about it, I would rather be the one to have your tongue oh um not literally of course but with my tongue, in your mouth, making out. You’ve got the prettiest lips too. But I have to go now, just remember that you are mine now beautiful. Mine.” with that he hung up.

I dropped my phone onto the floor as I fell. He was surely watching me, he-he wants to touch me. The murderer of my ex, a murderer in fucking general. I let out a sob, no one could help me now.

I rushed to the sink and threw up, not because of the fact that he was a murderer but because a part of me actually _liked_ the dirty talk. I vomited again. I am disgusting, a horrible person, oh god help my soul.

 

I’m screwed, _literally_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: from now on I am writing in third person, I was experimenting and I just find it better and easier.


	3. Truth Be Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // I apologize for the late update, I also have permanently changed the point of view (again).//

 

 

There was a loud, rambunctious knocking sound coming from the door of Harry’s home. Harry stood up, shaken from his vomit spill, his eyes widened with fear.

The fierce knocking continued, repeatedly. Haunting Harry’s mind with it’s patterns, the sound of skin hitting wood. Harry would not move, he felt as if it was impossible to even move.                 

_Is it L.T?_

The thought haunted his mind like a fairy tale wraps around young children. Though he was no child, he could face this fear. Harry scurried out of the now rank bathroom, rushing towards the kitchen in a fret. Harry shuffled through his kitchen drawers, grabbing the biggest chef knife he owned.

He stalked his way to the front door, calling out with a shaking voice, “Who is it?”

In those two seconds Harry felt true terror, true fear and anxiety but alas, it was only two seconds. A familiar boisterous laughter filled his ears,

“Who’er ya expecting mate? A lil’ side piece?”

It was only Niall, Harry sighed in relief. Quickly he stashed away the knife and opened the door with a crooked smile. He was soon engulfed in a giant hug which was uncommon to him, it felt foreign, the feeling of an embrace.

“Harry! Haven’t seen your pretty face in some time! Man can’t wait t—Holy crap you look like shit.” Niall exclaimed, he looked at Harry and drew out a breath. “You can’t go out lookin’ like that now!” Niall then pushed Harry out of the way, while Harry just stood there not uttering a sound, for his friend says all he needs for him.

Harry soon felt that pit of fear again, _going out?_ , he thought, _How can I go out when I’m being stalked by a murderer?!_

He could feel the bile rising again, “No Niall! I-I can’t tonight, I’m sorry.” He blurted out in desperation.

Harry watched as Niall slowly turned back around, a frown was etched across his face.

“Really? Again? If you didn’t want to hang out with me then just tell me!”, Niall fumed as he began to push past Harry once again, this time to get to the door.

“No! Niall, that’s not it! Something bad came up, I was instructed to not leave my household for a few days. The police are putting everyone who has had companionship or relations with Taylor on lock down.” _Another lie? I’m losing myself._

 

Niall’s face soon dropped into pity, “I’m sorry Haz, I should of known really.” Then the frown soon erupted into a gigantic smile, “How about I just kip over here then! A good ol’ sleepover!”

Harry didn’t like that idea, putting a friend at risk while there is a murderer lurking about? But Harry couldn’t turn down that genuine smile, not after he lied to him.

“I guess that would be okay? I mean one lad’s night won’t hurt anybody?” Harry said in defeat.

Niall grabbed him into a tight bear hug, “You won’t regret it mate! Gon’ be the best lad’s night ever!” Harry would be lying if he said that didn’t make him smile. “Whatever you big goof, now get off me so we can pop in a film.” Harry playfully shoved him off, again, affection wasn’t normal to him.

Niall gave him a guffawed expression, “Who even says ‘film’?! It’s called a movie Haz, get with the 21st century.” Niall skipped away to the TV room, “I’m picking!” Niall yelled from afar. Harry just stood there, slowly praying for Niall to live a long life because a soul so happy should never die.

He then felt a cold shift in the air, crawling up his spine.

Or maybe he’s just being emo.

Harry shook his head and ruffled his hair, soon following Niall’s footsteps.

Harry never had true affection in his life, as weird as that sounds. His mother was an open woman but she never truly embraced him as her own. She was always distant in emotion with him, unlike with his sister, Gemma. Everyone seemed to adore Gemma, she was there prodigy, a mold that they could form and bend into a carbon copy of themselves. He never resented her, he just felt dull in comparison, like he was nothing special.

But he was a successful writer after all, he made lots of money, why aren’t his parents proud of him? Maybe it’s the way he looks, dresses or talks. Is he to much to handle? Harry just wants, or at least wanted, to know what love truly is. To him it’s just a word, meaninglessly tossed around on lying tongues.

He felt empty to this world though he has had acquaintances of sorts they never could fill the void in his heart. But he kept on, living like this was normal to him though, nothing new.

Harry entered into the TV room to see movies thrown about lazily across the floor and Niall crouched in front of a drawer. “You have shit movie taste, I mean what kind of supposedly straight guy has The Notebook and Love Actually on DVD?” Niall looked up at him with a smirk.

“How about you just shut up, they’re good movies and you completely destroyed the room! Don’t you have any manners?” Harry shook his head in exasperation. Niall just gave him a crooked smile, “None that I know of Mister Posh Pants.” as he cackled and continued to look for a suitable movie. Harry just sighed in defeat as he proceeded to clean the mess that Niall started.

“Found one!” Niall exclaimed after a short period of silence. Harry looked up to find him gripping onto his copy of Die Hard. “Really? I’ve never watched that, my father gave it to me…” Niall gave him a puzzled look but knew better then to ask any further. “Oh come on! Everyone knows the first Die Hard was the best, or are you to scared to watch something that isn’t about crying chicks?”, Niall was taunting him now, picking at his low sense of confidence in his masculinity once again. No, it wasn’t like Harry felt inadequate about his appearance it’s just that once someone points out something bad about you it consumes you. “Oh shut up for once and just pop it in already.”, Harry waved him off and collapsed onto the sofa.

The movie was soon beginning so Niall plopped himself right next to Harry. “I know this is an awkward question to ask but are you okay? I mean you’ve been super distant lately and a tad bit antsy. I just want to make sure my best bud is okay.” Niall’s voice rang through Harry’s ears, he knew he spoke but he just didn’t want to acknowledge it. His brain was racking itself for answers, _am I okay?_ Harry couldn’t tell, he didn’t want to lie to him.

Harry gave him a half hearted smile, “I’m fine, really. It’s just a lot of stuff to process, you know?”, another lie. He was drowning in his own lies, he can’t find a possible way out. It’s suffocating and trapping him, locking him in a corner.

Niall nodded but he had a disbelieving scowl to him. “Whatever you say Haz, just want to make sure you’re handling this properly.”

That struck a cord in Harry, _handling this properly?! Who is he to be concerned with me!_ , he was agitated. Plain tired of how everyone is looking down on him, feeling pity and remorse, he doesn’t NEED that, he doesn’t need anyone.

Or at least that’s what he thinks.

“You know what Niall how about you bugger off?! Really, I’m tired of this little pity party. I don’t need comfort, I don’t need anyone!” Harry pushed off the couch, fuming.

Niall watched him leave not knowing what to say or even do. So he just sat there, letting the movie be the background noise for the night.

 

 

**———————**

 

 

Harry collapsed onto his bed, tears threatening to soak his sheets. All the bottled up emotion was getting to him, coaxing him into a fake sense of stability. He just wanted to be okay, he just didn’t want to care.

But he cared, he thinks he cares to much. He has to much on his plate, an ending for a book that isn’t finished, a murdered ex girlfriend and a psychopath creeping around him.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he sobbed into his pillow. All the contained emotions flowed out of him like a overflowing river. His body broke down into hiccups and tremors, but no one was there to comfort him. No one seemed to care.

“Harry!”

Harry paused himself, he stayed quite. He wiped his tears furiously and got up from his now soaked pillow.

“What do you want Niall?!” Harry exclaimed back.

There was no answer.

“Niall!”, he was frantic now.

There was only silence.

Harry bolted from his bed and ran his way into the TV room, Niall was not there.

 _Oh god, please no please_.

Harry feared the worse. In the back of his mind he tried to convince himself that it was a joke. “Niall I swear to God!”, his voice faltered.

He ran into the kitchen, the guest rooms, the den, the closets, the bathrooms and even the dining room.

He didn’t check the basement. He didn’t dare go down there.

Harry sat himself on the ground, rolled into fetal position. Silent tears caressed down his cheeks. He felt as if he already knew the truth.

“Don’t cry love.”, a voice of caramel interrupted his silence.

Harry’s eyes shot up in shock, he screamed and frantically look around, no one was there.

_I-I can’t do this, I’m messing with myself, this isn’t real!_

“You’re not real.” Harry repeated in a mantra, trying to convince himself as he gripped tighter onto his shirt.

He heard footsteps, slow pitter patters. Getting closer, closer and—

“I hate to see you cry babe.”

Harry screeched as he was now face to face with the voice.

 _Tragically beautiful_ , where Harry’s first thoughts upon seeing the man before him. He had a beautifully tanned complexion, bone structure that could cut diamonds, light ruby red lips that begged for attention, perfect stubble stretched across his chin and sides.

 

But his eyes.

 

Swirling with cobalt, sapphire and azure. Captivating and kidnapping him with one glance. Harry was entranced my the sea before him. Eyes showing little whispers of compassion, mystery and pain.

Harry flinched back, he made an effort of running for the phone. He was pulled back with a cold hand, “I don’t think so darling.” Harry was pulled into this man’s chest. He pushed away frantically, but was held back with just as much force.

“So pretty, why leave?”, Harry was sobbing now. A hand slowly pushed back his hair, wiping away his tears.

Harry started to scream again, fighting to get out of his capture’s grip. He was held tight by an iron grip.

“Stop moving or I won’t be so kind to that little friend of yours.”

Harry stopped moving. Harry soon realized that he was much taller than the man, maybe just a tad weaker.

The man smiled, his pearly whites glaring, “Good boy, now cutie ho—”

Harry stopped him mid-sentence, “Where is Niall?!”. In his brain he knew the truth, this had to be L.T and Niall must be dead, had to be right? No matter how hard he tried to think positive, he couldn’t. Niall was dead and he was going to be dead too.

_What a way to go, killed by your own inspiration._

L.T, as Harry presumed, was slightly angered with being interrupted (or maybe it was the mention of Niall). “Away, no one will try to steal what is mine and hurt them in the process.”

Harry was taken back, he wanted to cry again, just lay down and sob. “You where watching us?!” , he tried to kick L.T’s knee to escape his hold but apparently that move was anticipated.

“Hm what a bad boy you’ve been. First, you try to sneak off with some blonde Irish whore. Second, you push _me_ away and now you try to hurt me!”, L.T’s face was lit with new found rage, his grip on Harry’s arm tightened. Harry whimpered out in pain, “Please stop, h-he was my friend a-and you killed him! Please stop hurting me!” Harry was sobbing harder now.

L.T’s grip softened and a look of concern stretched across his features. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I just want to hurt the people that hurt you, I-I think you’re to beautiful to be in pain. He was a nuisance, didn’t even care to check on you! My baby was crying and he didn’t care!”, Harry felt sick when his words comforted him.

“W-what did you do to him?”, Harry pleaded. His eyes where droopy, mouth dry and eyes burning from his salty depression.

“I didn’t kill him…just knocked him out, and left him under a bed. I was going to and oh did I want to hurt that boy but I remembered you, my sweet boy, crying in sorrow. I just wanted to get to you.”, L.T wiped Harry’s tears off his cheek.

Harry felt a tad better, Niall wasn’t dead. Necessarily, he saved him. His crying and pain helped him to live. “What do you want with me? I’m nothing special, please just let me go!” Harry tried again, this time clinging onto L.T’s cotton sweatshirt. Harry felt bad for the attraction he was feeling, he felt sick. Never the less L.T just smiled, _why is that so attractive?_ , “You where the only one who has ever been interested in me for the right reasons, not some sick psycho fantasy, plus your cuteness isn’t a bad factor.” L.T chuckled a bit, his eyes never leaving Harry’s face.

“Now Harry, I need you to stay calm with me here and listen.”, Harry nodded shamelessly. “As much as it pains me, I’m going to have to leave now. I don’t want to leave you here but I have um business to take care of before I can take you with me. I want you to be a good boy for me, and if you dare tell anyone about me … well lets just say your pretty face won’t save your loved ones.” 

Harry couldn’t describe the feeling of dread and pain in his heart at this moment. He felt a grueling depression in the pit of his stomach. “I won’t” , Harry didn’t even recognize his own voice, it sounded drowned out and distant.

L.T smiled, “I know.” He was walking out when he stopped. He abruptly turned back and came towards a cowering Harry.

He pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek.

Harry choked, his face heated up with an intense red. He had the words ‘Don’t touch me’ at the tip of his tongue but knew better than to coerce him in a conversation. Louis left with a wink and sauntered out of the house, leaving a crumpled Harry behind. He wanted to scream, to kick, to cry but he knew he had to be stronger then this; he could make it.

Harry’s eyes widened with realization,

“Niall?! NIALL!” His voice was hoarse from his crying and screaming.

At first it was silent, all that could be heard was Harry’s harsh breathing. Then a groan of pain broke the seam,

Harry ran to the sound to find Niall crawling out from under one of his guest beds.

His face was paled, paler then before, a now purplish brown was showing on his forehead and dried blood was evident from his nose.

He looked like hell.

Harry rushed forward and helped him to his feet, placing him on the bed. “Oh god Niall, I need to take you to a hospital!” Harry was getting up from his place on the bed when a warm hand grabbed his wrist.

“No! No you can’t I—ugh!” Niall was clutching his head in agony.

“Why not! You could have internal injuries!” Harry countered, but Niall shook his head.

“That fucker hit me good but I-I can’t, okay? That dude was scary specific. Threatened to slit my throat with your vase then and there.” Niall chuckled sadly, “Wait—Harry…what did he do to you? And who the fuck was he?! He obviously seemed to know you with all this shit he was spouting”

Harry froze, L.T’s warning was blaring in his brain like a siren. “I-I didn’t know him um he was trying to rob me is all, maybe he was a mad fan?” _how many lies it that already?_

 

“Harry, so your telling me that guy did NOTHING to you? Absolute bullshit. He’s insane! He said if I told anyone that he’ll make sure I won't be able to breathe and that he would personally _love_ to take care of you after I’m gone. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about killing you!”

 

Harry stayed silent, disgust filled his veins. _L.T will take 'care' of me with or without you being alive, he doesn’t care._

“Di-did he touch you? Like um without your con—”

Harry cut him off abruptly, “No! No! He didn’t! Well I mean he grabbed me but I’m okay, I threatened to call the cops so he left.” not even Harry could believe that.

“Okay but just don’t lie to me ‘kay?”, Harry nodded—which was another lie.

Niall started to get up but Harry pushed him back down, “You can’t get up! You could have a concussion.”

He got a look of dread, “I-I’m sorry Haz but until you actually get your house under lock down from that creep I can’t stay here. I’ll just call a taxi…”

Harry was flabbergasted, _what kind of friend just leaves you alone after that?!_ “W-what?! You can’t just leave me alone! What the hell!”

Niall’s face showed signs of fear, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m just scared! And hanging around you is either going to get me killed or kidnapped! Sorry Harry…really I am!” He began to walk out of the room, Harry trailing behind him.

“Niall! Please! I-i’m scared! Don’t leave me alone! I ca-can’t do it!”

Harry was sobbing and shaking in fear.

“Niall!” Harry gripped onto his t-shirt. Niall pushed him off, “No! Harry get off of me! I-i’m tired, hurt and scared. I’m going home whether you like it or not.”

Harry could feel more tears cascade down his face, but his cheeks felt numb, his skin felt numb, his heart felt numb, his whole body felt numb.

“Niall…” Harry whispered, eyes pleading as they approached the door.

“I’m sorry.” was all Niall said as he closed the door, leaving Harry alone once more.

Sobs shook through his body as he slowly slid down the door. His hands clutched onto his face; his face felt hot from tears.

 

 

_L.T was right, Niall never did care._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and friendly criticism is welcomed!
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> Leave Kudos !!
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> xx


	4. Adonis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast updates? 
> 
> Surprise!
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> 4K Words

 

 

 

******  
**

Harry had been lying aloft the door for hours now. Contemplating his choices, existence and purpose.

_What’s the point in living when you have nothing to live for?_

But that’s where he stopped himself, if he was to take his own life then what would L.T do to everyone he’s come in contact with. He’d surely kill Niall, and no matter what Niall has done to him emotionally he would never wish death upon him.

You see, he cares. He cares to the point that he would go through depression, pain and abuse to protect and defend everyone, even if they have done him wrong. That’s where the mix of emotional laceration and agony get to him.

He constantly fights battles in his head; trying to overcome his overwhelming sense of dejection. His mother told him this once, that he was a basket case waiting to implode. Then again, they said many things to him that were not true. He thinks maybe that’s why it tortures him to lie.

It reminds him of his parents.

No they weren’t absolutely degrading and ignominious to Harry. They just gave slight glances of disapproval that would make a void in his heart. His father would smack him for disappointments and forgetfulness. The occasional locking him in the gelid basement and lonely nights without food.

Maybe that’s where Harry got his fear of basements and the dark from. But the real question would be why did he buy a home with a basement? Harry would say it’s the only thing pulling him back into reality, that whenever he has a inkling of happiness he goes home and finds the basement. It resembles his father in some ways, always there, cold, and gloomy. Icy to the touch and horrifying. He could never escape.

Whenever Harry had panic attacks he would lock himself in the basement. He would repeat his mantra of ‘I’m sorry’ and rock back and forth in fear. It was his medication, per say. The basement could be the thing holding him back from life, he doesn’t believe that though. A constant nagging in the back of his head that he wasn’t good enough. That he’ll always be second best.

That’s when the pit of anger seeped through his veins.

Gemma never had to go to the basement, she was never beaten or starved. She was embraced and encouraged. _Why couldn’t they love me too?_ Questions like that are livid in Harry’s mind. He wishes never to alienate his sister, he wishes that she would call him, maybe a text? No. She hasn’t contacted him since he left for his university. Never gave a second inkling that she cared for him, but Harry always cared.

That’s his fatal flaw, caring. He never could seem to stop, always giving extra money to people who needed it and sometimes to people who didn’t need it at all. He could be there mortal enemy and still give into the trapping method of sympathy.

That’s one of the reasons his father disliked him. He thought Harry had no back bone, that he could and would be walked over his whole life. He used to smack him to see if Harry would fight back, just an experiment, Harry never did.

But don’t get everything twisted, his father showed some senses of compassion. He gave him a strong pat on the back when he accomplished his SAT’s and a smile when Harry brought home a beautiful girl to introduce as his girlfriend. Maybe even a hug if his business partners were watching, he couldn’t let them think he wasn’t a loving father.

The smiles and pats on the back disappeared in Harry’s last two years of secondary school. Harry had started to express his love for writing at that time, telling his parents once that he would aspire to be a novelist. Harry stopped bringing so called ‘girlfriends’ over, he never found the need for their sadistic companionship.

Those things didn’t sit well with his parents, lots of arguments and shattered glass followed. So Harry left to go to Nottingham University. His mother called him on his first week there, the same robotic conversation of ‘how are you?’ and ‘how are your grades?’ was expressed. Until she stopped contact with him in general. Gemma didn’t even express sorrow when he left, just a simple wave of a hand and dismissing smile.

Harry found writing as his escape throughout the years, his only way of understanding. Though there were dark periods, those dark periods included Niall. If Harry regrets anything it’s probably hanging out with Niall in UNI. Niall introduced him to the life of alcohol and girls. Meaning he bummed around bars and clubs drinking away his sorrows and taking home girls that he was never interested in. He just needed a distraction, he wanted to get away from his past. That bad habit shadowed him out of UNI, even when he had become an author it was always there on the side. He put up a fake persona of confidence, acted as if he knew he was all that.

Until he heard of L.T.

Harry was sitting on his couch with the TV turned to the news, his daily Sunday routine. He wasn’t really watching it per say; he was thinking to himself. Having a deep confrontational conversation in his mind. That’s when the news anchor’s voice boasted through his air waves, the stone looking fellow was intently staring at the camera and a grotesque image played across the screen.  The lines of ‘This disturbing image is what remains of Gaby Lee, a forty-three year old woman who lived in the town of Manchester.’ were shouting back at him, Harry didn’t know her, he didn’t find her interesting, he found what was left of her intriguing though. Precision cuts and slashes etched her face, bludgeoned and cut across her stomach. Everything was in perfect order. He was pulled out of his conscious by this horrid thing. ‘She was found lying in her backyard, she was a widow and had no children. The murderer left a signature on her temple, it seems to say L.T—’

And that’s where it all began.

Harry was captivated by the perfection, longing to understand the motivation and cruelty of it all. Captured by the delicate strokes, as if he was admiring a painter. By then Harry knew he was sick, he was mutilated in the mind and was never going to come close to normality again. He stopped going out, never left his home for more than a brief conversation or a trip to Tesco.

He had began to write a lot during that time, he was thriving in death. Soon books were flying off the shelves, he had gotten popularity from this twisted human being. That’s when the police came bursting into his life. It was overwhelming, the constant questioning; his sanctuary of quiet and lonesome was interrupted by FBI and security checks. He had no privacy anymore, it had been stripped away from him. So he put up his fake persona, it seemed to be his only escape. If he acted like a cocky imbecile then maybe he wouldn’t be suspected as much.

So Harry picked up on his bad habits, he drank, he slept around, and he slipped into an absence of conscious.

His novels became styrofoam copies, they were nothing special anymore. He lost all choice in what to write when he gained a publicist and the media’s attention. Harry had nothing left to believe in, just following orders, like he used to.

It was a vicious cycle, he believed. First, he had no freedom; constantly trying to please and do as he was told, never questioning. Then he gained confidence, went off to UNI without any permission and flourished in writing. Alas, he fell into the drinking and cardboard copy attitude of faux confidence, he gained a persona. But he found himself returning when he was inspired by L.T, giving him a reason to continue on. The industry made him lose sight of that, the police made him fall back into his fake persona.

He had become a carbon copy, much like Gemma.

That scared him, deep down he knew that it must happen eventually, right? It’s only hereditary. But now he sits here, slain with trepidation because the one thing that pulled him out of his cycle is pulling him out of it once again.

But he has a face to the hero.

That’s the depraved part of it all, to him, a cold blooded murderer is also considered a hero. He necessarily saved Harry, right? Pulled him out of his simplicity, gave him a purpose. He shouldn’t want to thank the man who gives him nightmares. He shouldn’t want to bless the man who ruined parts of his life.

He shouldn’t want to kiss the same person who killed his ex companion.

That’s what shakes Harry, because if there is a God out there then why did they make someone so beautiful do such cruel things. If this was in another universe, where Harry wasn’t mentally slipping from sanity and L.T wasn’t a murderer, Harry believes they would be in love. Maybe they would be rockstars, old lovers, shop owners, high school students, punks or businessmen. They could of had families, mutual friends, and enemies. There backstory would of been amazing, they would of met on a spring afternoon—no wait, a fall evening! There would of been shy glances and faint blushes. It would've escalated to soft touches and whispers of confession, kisses like mint. Pure love.

Harry doesn’t dwell on what could've been.

He faces the tough hands he was dealt and tries to deal with it. He doesn’t get soft touches, confessions of admiration or kisses. He gets rough hands, screaming of hatred and the stinging of handprints across his face.

Harry picked himself off of the burning floor. His eyes were puffed and crimson as he sniffled and wiped away the last of his tears. Harry closed his eyes and took in a deep stiff breath. He imagined the different scenarios that his life could've been, then as he released his breath he deleted it from his mind. _There is no other universe, there is only this one, and I am left to pick up my own pieces, alone._

He’d separated himself from his pitiful dreams, wary of their impact on him emotionally. Harry wanted to escape the sounding depression that contained him.

That’s when the soothing sound of a ringtone interrupted the echoless silence around him. Warily, Harry walked (slowly pacing himself inside his head) towards his cellphone that laid forgotten on the kitchen island. He picked it up with a shaking hand.

"Mr.Styles?”, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the voice but it was distinctly feminine.

Harry quickly retrogressed into his character, “Hello, and who may this be?”, he tried to sound positive but there was a sort of sadistic tone to his low rumbly voice.

“It’s Elise! From the crime scene? The forensic scientist who you casually rejected?” she has a teasing tone to her voice but Harry could sense the dejection.

“Oh, um how and why do you have my number? Not to sound offhand about it. I’m just not in a good situation right now.”, and by that Harry meant that he wanted to end this conversation as soon as it started. He wanted to be left alone in his own ignorance and demise.

There was a shuffling sound coming from the other end, “Officer Payne gave it to me; I need you to come down to the lab tomorrow. Sorry Harry but you're still on the suspect list and we’ll need to test you for DNA analysis.”

Harry felt like crying in annoyance, maybe just once I could be left at peace after I’ll i’ve gone through today. But of course, Harry could never say no so he agreed to the appropriate time of eight in the morning, not like he has a simplistic life to get to anyway. They said their farewells and Harry trudged his way to the bedroom.

He cautiously left all his lights on, fearing that L.T could be lurking around in the dark.  He knew his electric bill would suffer for this but it comforted him to not be in the shadowy night. Harry fell asleep with heartache, barely could get his eyes shut before falling into seamless nightmares later on.

Maybe that’s because L.T was there, watching, like he always does.

 

 

 

 

**_____________________**

 

 

 

 

Shaking hands.

Those are the words you could use to describe Harry at this exact moment, he was sitting in his car in front of the police station. He knew this was a horrid idea from the start. _What if L.T thought I was turning him in?_ though Harry couldn’t let his thoughts get the best of him. He needed to do this to prove his innocence.

_Maybe I could get help?_

_No._

_I can’t do that to all of them, but what have they done for me to go through this?_

That’s when Harry paused himself, he was being vicious and cruel. Who was he to play God? No matter what they did, no matter how they’ve harmed him, he would always put their needs and lives before his own. It’s a never ending condition, make a virus or disease. It spreads through him like a mother’s instinct, he feels the need to be the protector even when he needs the protecting.

He never gets recognition for the things he does for others. Never calls for applause or worship, he stays in the background.

Your typical sadistic modern day man-boy superhero.

Harry breathes out an air he never knew he was holding and exited his car. He could feel the brisk air of Autumn brushing strokes across his cheeks and the tip of his nose. The air smelled of crisp leaves, gasoline and bullet graze. Then again, he was at a police station.

He entered through the double doors, feeling the beady eyes of tired adults and the rancid smell of coffee. Harry tried to shuffle through the agitated patrolmen; their desperate hair grabs and shuffling of gritty papers filling his eyes and ears.

“Harry Styles? What are you doing here? Come to confess to aiding a criminal?”, followed by a few snickers and snorts.

Harry turned his head to the ruckus, just a chubby police officer with his typical donut variety and entourage of middle aged cops.

Harry just sighed at the sight, who would let themselves go to that age of decay? Harry wasn’t one for the ‘unhealthy’ portions in life. Maybe a slice of pizza or two but that was as unhealthy as it got for him. His kitchen consisted of spinach, kale, smells of barley and cinnamon and fruits galore.

No, wouldn’t dream of it. I’m here for reasons officers, none that concern any of you.” Harry said with his nose turned up in the air.

_There you go, keep up the act now._

The men looked up at him in disbelief, “Watch who ‘yer talking to, god you writer types have no respect for the authorities!”

Harry ignored their gibes and continued his way to the front office. He’s used to it now, the constant belittling and berating of others was common to him. He could walk down the street and catch a disapproving glance. Once in awhile there would be a fan and they would gravitate towards him, closing in on his personal space, suffocating him with their presence. He doesn’t dislike them; he just wishes they wouldn’t beg him for pictures, an autograph or help on writer's block or how to get inspired. He can’t answer those questions they have, he can’t smile in photos anymore. How can you smile when your smile is broken?

Harry shook the thoughts out of his head as he consulted the woman at the main desk. She briefly called up Elaine then proceeded to tell Harry to go up to the third floor. She didn’t give Harry a second glance, somehow he thanked her for that. He was tired of conversing, just wanted to fade into the walls of people’s memories.

He decided to walk up the stairs, as weird as that sounds. Harry calculated the chance of meeting someone in the elevators to the stairs. Counting that he was in a police station, he took the stairs.  

There, on the staircase, his thoughts were allowed to roam free. He was left with silence just a few creaks and squeaks here and there.

How was he going to handle all of this? There was an uncertain future before him that he couldn’t quite grasp. He was being harassed and stalked by a murderer, there was no way around that. He couldn’t find an escape hole. The only way he could would be to—well kill him.

But Harry couldn’t do that.

He couldn’t kill anyone, let alone a gorgeous human being.

Sometimes Harry swore he could feel the icy captivating eyes of L.T laying upon him. Like he was right there, just out of his reach. That confused Harry profoundly, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to scream or caress the man. He felt sick about that, he shouldn’t feel anything but pure hatred towards him. He shouldn’t let his sexual fantasies get the best of him anyway, he doesn’t even know him.

That was a contradiction in itself. Harry convinces himself that he shouldn’t feel anything but disgust for L.T because he doesn’t even know him enough to be fawning over him. Then again, he doesn't know him enough to feel disgust for him. But that was wrong wasn't it? He had been held in his embrace, kissed by his burning lips on his cheek, threatened by his mellow voice and shocked by his violence. He could just sit there all day and contemplate the rights and wrongs of his emotions towards the complicated man. He wasn’t even paying attention to his steps anymore; he was swimming in his thoughts. Choking on the waters of emotions and drowning to the bottom of his mind. Trying to grab the life boat of—  
****

He ran into a body.

 

At least that’s what he thought, he just felt a brief warmness and a wall of soft flesh. He had stumbled briefly, grabbing onto the railing to steady his balance.

“Harry! Oh my lord! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t even looking where I was going. I was just looking for you! Are you okay?”, the words rushed out of Elise’s voice like vomit.

Harry just breathed calmly, trying to steady his heartbeat. “I-I’m fine, just scared me is all. Um why were you looking for me? And why go down the stairs? Not to be rude, I just don’t see a lot of people using these.”

She smiled, her teeth reminded him of a nightmare he once had.

“I just wanted to make sure you could find your way up here and I just like the calm serenity of it all.”, that made a tiny smile appear on Harry’s face.

So maybe he wasn’t alone, people liked the quiet too. Maybe she wasn’t that bad of a person, he could give her a chance? He shouldn’t shut off people an—

“Haha, just kidding really. Maria told me that you went up the stairs so I just came to get you.”

Never mind.

Harry inwardly sighed, “Okay cool, so let's just head up to your lab and get this over with.” He dismissed how un-him those words where.

 

 

 

**__________________________**

 

 

 

Harry was sitting in a cold desk chair, waiting for Elise to return so he could say his goodbyes and get out of there. After the DNA samples where taken Elise constantly tried to make conversation. Harry didn’t want to upset her, so he tried to make small banter but in reality he just wanted to go home.

“Thanks for waiting Harry, so I guess this wraps it all up.” Elise said as she entered the room. Harry nodded and proceeded to get up and leave.

“Wait!” Elise called after him.

She rushed up to him and grabbed his hands, Harry stopped moving. She was breaking his personal space barrier. She was a complete stranger, and she was touching him.

He was paralyzed.

“I-um just really like you? I know this is super forward and totally unprofessional but I really just want to get to know you more. I think we have a connection, as crazy as that sounds. So would you maybe go on a date with me?” Her voice was sincere and her face showed signs of hope.

Her eyes where a cold green color, he couldn’t find a word of poetry to fill them with. No inspiration, no sonnets or haikus. He couldn’t bare to look at them. So he stood silent, not knowing what to say in these types of situations? Should he shut her down? Agree? Decline? Would it be rude to just lea—

“I know a way to convince you.” She said, interrupting his train of thought. She reached for his face and with that he began to shake. He was shaking immensely, he couldn’t breathe properly, his hands felt numb and his chest heaved with pain.

He was having a panic attack.

Harry swiftly pushed her off of him, he was breathing heavily. Gasping for air that wasn’t there, he fell to the ground. Tears poured down his face without his control, he couldn’t take the non consensual touching. He didn’t agree for her to grab his hands, to touch his face and bring herself upon him. He couldn’t stop shaking.

“Harry! Shit! Are you having a panic attack?!” She kneeled down onto the ground and tried to touch his back.

Harry pushed her off and tried to crawl away from her. “Do-don’t touch me! Please!”, he wanted her away. He wanted her gone.

He was slowly falling into a pit of despair, she wouldn’t budge.

“Harry please, calm down no—”

There was a loud thud of a body hitting the ground beside him.

****

“Baby, it’s okay. I’m here now.”

****

It was the voice, the caramel voice of velvet.

His body felt numb, “It’s alright, she is gone now. She won’t touch you, it’s just me.”

Harry almost passed out, _Elise is dead._

 

He turned and saw her limp body laying crazily across the marble floor, her black hair showing tints of red. Then he could see him, modern day Adonis. His light brown hair was swept across his forehead, he looked as beautiful as ever.

He crouched down next to Harry, “Can I hold you?”

Those simple words made Harry nod in agreement, that scared him. Until he felt the warm embrace of a body wrapping around him, coddling him. The calming words of “I got you” and “It’s okay” was melded into Harry’s ears. He was being rocked back in forth in the lap of a criminal. Warm kisses were pressed to his neck and arms wrapped around his waist as he laid back into the embrace. Harry felt kisses pressed onto his hair and hands holding him in place.

He felt safe.

“Can you breathe baby?”, Harry nodded numbly. “Can I get up? Just to take care of the mess, I’ll be right back. Promise.” Harry doesn’t even know if he responded, all he knows is that his haven had let go of his body. He sat there staring at the wall before him. He could see dots of blood scattered on the wall. He could hear the sound of a body being dragged.

_Moments later he fully came back into reality._

_I let him kill her, it’s all my fault. I let him touch me, kiss me, feel me._

_I’m disgusting._

Harry felt dirty and disfigured. What would he do now? He would be convicted of her death, possibly. He was a witness, he was a liability, L.T would surely kill him.

“We're going to have to leave sweetheart, can you get up for me?”, he was back but Harry would not budge.

“You killed her, didn’t you.”

"Yes, cracked her skull with a pipe then I took her away and stabber her face. Is that what you wanted to here? I fucked her face up, scratched out her eyeballs while wearing her own lab coat. I carved my initials onto her forehead. Is that what you want?”, his voice was harsh but it was real.

Harry still felt like vomiting, “N-no but how are we going to get out?! If you haven’t noticed we’re in a police station. I could jus-st run, you know? Tell them L.T is after me.”

“I’ll kill you before that happens.”

Harry believed him.

“I left a little note for them, where leaving the way I came in, through the doors.”

Harry’s heart stopped in his chest, “But they’ll remember your face! When they um find Elise, they’ll know who you are.”

L.T just smiled, “They were going to find out eventually right?”

Harry still felt sick, he was trusting himself with a killer, who just murdered someone right next to him. “I could just scream you know, I could get you arrested right then and there.” Harry was trying to convince him to let him go. L.T responded with a brief, “You won’t.” and Harry realized he was smarter than he had first thought.

It was kind of admirable.

L.T gave him his hand and Harry regretfully took it. L.T brought Harry to his feet and gave him a kiss to his temple.

L.T led Harry to his demise as he brought him to the opening to the police station office. His fear was trickling into his mind and body, creeping into his veins with a fast pace.

“Get ready to act darling”, his arm wrapped securely around Harry’s waist. They looked picture perfect.

 

 

 

****  
  
  
_Beauty is the devil and he has me in his snare._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to maintain a constant updating system of every Friday, please don't be angry with me if I can not uphold it though.


	5. Hypnotic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I haven't posted in 2 weeks! So much for my every Friday update :( 
> 
> I apologize for not posting, my family has been beating me down lately and I couldn't take it. I will really try to make a constant schedule! 
> 
> WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT AND MENTIONS/THREATS OF RAPE CAN BE UNCOMFOTABLE AND TRIGGERING
> 
> 4.1K words~

Harry could not describe his erratic heartbeat if he tried, it was pounding out of his chest like a lion begging to be lead of out captivity. His face was paler than ever before and eyes a glowing emerald. L.T’s arm was still securely wrapped around his waist but Harry would not budge, he would  not move an inch. “Can you look at me Harry?”, his voice was wrapping around him once more but it felt like he was suffocating with every breath. However, Harry turned his head and faced L.T. His beauty was hard to compare to anything Harry has ever seen before, he couldn’t find a single metaphor or simile in his head that would be worthy of his countenance. L.T lifted his unoccupied hand and brought it to Harry’s visage, he caressed it with undying affection.

“It’s going to be okay Haz, just walking a bit. No one will suspect anything, you’re going to be okay.”

Harry didn’t want to believe him but he’d like to say it was the nickname that won him over, not the sincerity in his voice. L.T rested his head across Harry’s chest, it was a warm show of affection that rumbled Harry’s senses. He felt a warmness spread throughout his veins like he was sitting near a warm fire on a fresh winter night. His heartbeat immediately came to a calm beat and a small smile stretched across L.T’s lips. “Good boy, are you ready to go?”, Harry nodded weakly and L.T pecked his cheek with a lingering kiss.

The same lips that told of abusing murders and secrets laid yet another kiss across his cheeks.

He only felt snug, wanting to stay in this moment forever.

But he was abruptly yanked back into reality by L.T leading him through the double doors.

At first, no eyes even bothered to look up at the two boys, completely oblivious to the situation at hand. L.T snuggled his head into the crook of Harry’s neck as they walked, arms entangled in one another’s. Harry wanted to coo at the adorable man underneath him, he looked so soft and small in that moment, though Harry knew quite the opposite. His hair tickled Harry’s chin and it smelled of Granny Smith’s. Harry wanted to soak in his presence, to have him like this forever, no murder just plain old affectionate loving embraces.

_But I don’t deserve that._

Harry didn’t know how to feel anymore, his mind was a jumble of knots and strings with split ends and cut cords.

He was a bomb waiting to implode.

Yet, he continued on, L.T still snuggled up beside him.

“Look who ta’ cat dragged out, already picked up a one night stand? In a police station? I applaud that one Styles.” it was a random police officer which Harry did not know. He felt his body tense and L.T’s grip tighten.

The police officer leaned in, “Hey, how ‘bout you come back later and tell me if he’s a screamer?”

That’s when everything went red.

It was a rush of emotions, anger fatigued his body and he lunged. Harry didn’t understand why he was being so irrational, was it the unwelcome flow of tender love that was seeping in his brain? Or was it plain numbness and lack for human interaction? His blood ran cold from the vulgar comments and all his bottled emotions began running free. He lunged forward at the police officer and yanked him towards a wall, everyone was paying attention now. Guns were lifted from holsters and police officers were running towards them.

He felt invincible.

“Don’t ever say that about him.” Harry didn’t even recognized his own voice, his fingers calloused from the rough fabric of the policeman. A welcoming hand caressed his shoulder,

“Baby, it’s okay. I’m okay, you’re okay. Let him go, he isn’t worth it.”

Harry dropped him to the ground immediately and engulfed himself in L.T. He felt tears stain his face, burning him like acid. L.T gripped onto his body in a loving embrace of sorts, rubbing slow circles on his back with his petite hands. “Shh love, Louis’ got you”

_Louis Louis Louis Louis Louis_

Harry didn’t know if it really was his name.

_But what if it is?_

Harry’s mind reeled with possibilities and scenarios, maybe he trusts him? Or maybe he was already planning his death. He wanted to sob, so he did, not even caring about how weak he looked among the others.

He is an emotional, unpredictable, imploding time bomb. Sometimes (all the time) he wishes that he was normal, that he didn’t cry at a bat of an eyelash or a snide remark. He wishes he didn’t care about the constant berating and belittling. He wishes he could be strong and confident,

Like Louis.

 _Louis?_ Was that even his name, Harry did not know. He just took it as such and gripped harder onto the presumably older man.

“I can have you arrested for assaulting an officer! Get the hell out of here!”, the man yelled with as much authority he could muster after being thrown about like a rag doll. He was about to push Harry out until Louis shot him a death glare,

“Fucking touch him, I dare you. If you touch a single hair on my baby I will not hesitate to hurt you in ways you never thought possible.”

Louis escorted Harry out of the police station, humming a tiny melody into his ear to soothe the pain in his heart. Louis began to mutter, “I’m going to kill him and his family, I swear I’ll ri—”

“Stop it!”, Harry’s voice range out in the parking lot, his voice soon softened, “Please, you can’t solve all your problems by killing them. What happened already happened nothing you do or say will change the past.” Harry was a puddle of emotions and Louis’ heart softened at the sight.   Louis didn’t want to argue his point knowing that Harry was in a vulnerable state of mind. “Okay Haz, let's get out of here.” Louis started to guide Harry towards his car when he wiggled himself out of his grip.

“I-I’m not going with you.” Harry’s voice faltered.

Louis gave him an incredulous look, “You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

Louis lost all his patience and forcefully grabbed Harry from his mid-waist. “S-stop! Let go of me! Please!” but to no avail, Louis dragged him farther and farther. Louis was approaching his Ford F-50 when Harry started to scream.

“HELP! Someone help me! I’m getting k—”

Harry was slammed onto a car door, he groaned out in pain.

“Keep on screaming and I’ll give you something to really scream about.” Louis’ voice was venom, his hair swiftly brushed across Harry’s forehead. “You’re fucking bipolar, you know that? I save your ass from a crazy bitch, then you fall all over me but then you freakout and hate me. But when we get to the lobby you try to defend me and cling to me. Now you’re trying to get away from me?!”

Harry felt like he was a toddler being scolded for eating from the cookie jar. His back stung from the cold metal and his voice burned from his constant screaming.

“Harry, I just want to take care of you. I want you to love me like I love you.”

Harry’s breath hitched, _love._

_He loves me._

__

_Louis loves me._

__

_Someone actually loves me._

His brain was backtracking, trying to find at least one instance where someone said they loved him and actually meant it.

He couldn’t find anyone.

Harry’s heart felt warm from the confession, he had never been told ‘I love you’ before. His mind reeled with thoughts, _Louis cares, Louis actually cares_.

He was falling into a sense of delusion. He forgot about the murders and even the future murders, he was just focusing on this moment, right here. He was still pushed up against the car but as he looked into Louis’ sapphire eyes, he saw longing. That longing of a companion, someone to hold, someone to kiss goodnight, someone to love, and cherish.

“I want you to take care of me.” Harry whispered

Louis surged forward and captured Harry’s lips with his own.

The roughness of Louis’ lips collided with Harry’s soft, they tasted each others desperation. Harry was engulfed in the scent of Louis, he was engulfed in all that was Louis. His mouth felt like fire, a desirable fire. As Louis softly bit onto his bottom lip and caressed his face he purred in affection. Harry felt Louis’ tongue trying to penetrate into his mouth, he let him in willingly. Harry could literally taste Louis in his mouth, his head was above the clouds, above the Gods and above the universe. Louis soft hair was pricking at Harry’s forehead and he emitted a giggle into Louis’ mouth. Louis broke apart the kiss while Harry was still in a daze of affection. “Your giggles are adorable, God, you are adorable. Can I just keep you forever.” Louis mumbled into Harry’s neck.

_I want that too_

__

_—no no no_

__

_I don’t want that_

__

_I can’t want that_

“What is wrong with me?” Harry whispered to no one in particular.

“Nothing is wrong with you Hazzy.” Louis pressed a soft peck to his neck. Harry pushed Louis away from him slowly, not trying to cause any harm. “Louis, I-I can’t. Okay? Yo-you killed my ex girlfriend, tried to kill one of my friends and then you killed a woman right in front of me! I shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry. I’m so fucked up. I-I just want to go home? Please, I’ll go with you but I’m just tired.” Harry couldn’t look up into his cerulean eyes.

He heard a deep sigh, “Okay Haz, let’s get you _home_.”

Louis opened the passenger's seat for Harry, a gentlemanly offer. Harry obliged and sat down atop the frosty leather.

After Louis was seated Harry closed his eyes, letting the darkness consume him.

****  
  
  


______________________

****  
  
  
  


Harry woke up tied to a bed.

His eyes shot open and a scream threatened to be released. His hands began shaking as he tried to release himself from containment. His skin burned from the cuffs and he saw a smidgen of his blood stain them. He cried out for anyone, but to no avail. He then observed his surroundings, his hands were bound together on the top of the headboard while his feet were separated and chained to the two bed posts.

His clothes were gone, all he was left with was his underwear.

Harry screamed once more, thrusting his arms about, trying to find a loophole. “Louis?! Louis!” Harry sobbed out, his tears were sliding down his cheeks like a forever flowing river. He hiccuped and howled out. He could feel his skin ripping from the cuffs, a single drop of blood fell onto his forehead from his wrists.

“Don’t hurt yourself! Baby, the harder you resist the more it’s going to hurt.”

_Speak of the Devil and he shall appear._

“Lo-Louis please just let me go! I do-don’t want this!” Harry pleaded, his insides were knotted to no return. His throat was dry, his skin was burning, and his eyes stung. Louis just walked towards him and stood beside the bed. “You’re bleeding? Oh Haz.” Louis wiped the blood from Harry’s forehead.

As he reached to touch Harry’s cheek Harry pulled away from him. “Don’t touch me!”, Harry regretted those words as soon as they left his lips.

Louis grabbed his face in anger, his nails dug into his cheeks. “Don’t you dare pull away from me.” Harry whimpered in pain and nodded his head feverishly. Louis sighed, “Good, Harry this is only temporary. I’ll take you out of these when you calm down, okay? I didn’t want you to run about.”

Harry was frightened, to say the least. His heart was crushed and his mind was racing.

_This isn’t love._

__

_It can’t be._

__

_Can it?_

He didn’t know what to believe anymore. The handcuffs were still digging into his wrists and he tried his best to hold in his agonizing pain. “I’m hurting you?”, Louis whispered as if he was the one bleeding. Tears gleamed from Harry’s eyes as he shook his head in agreement.

“Shit, no I didn’t want to hurt you! I just wanted you to stay put, I didn’t think I’d be gone long. Business was a hassle.” Louis hurriedly unlocked the handcuffs and released Harry’s wrists, but not his feet. His hands had fresh blood drawn to them and his wrists were a mess.

Louis gasped, “I’ll get you some disinfected spray and some gauze wrap.” Harry was confused by his sudden act of kindness, did he not just kidnap him?

“What kind of killer gets there victims disinfected spray?” his words stung Louis beyond his belief.

Louis had long been off the bed and in the doorway, he turned his head to face Harry. “You’re not my victim and I’m not your average everyday killer.” then he exited the room leaving an injured Harry in his wake.

Harry clutched his wrist trying to smear some of the blood off but with no success. It burned but deep down inside, Harry liked the pain. He liked it when Louis was rough, slamming him against doors and walls, gripping his face, holding him, handcuffing him.

Harry threw up on the carpet.

_I’m disgusting and vile._

Harry’s throat burned with disgust, his vomit was spread next to the bed. He spit the excess from his mouth and his head was spinning.

“Harry? I’m sorr—oh” Harry knew it was Louis but his eyes failed to open. “Babe, you’re sick? I’ll clean this up, let's get you to the bathroom love.”

Harry felt the chains lifted from his feet and his body was cradled, he thought he had died and was ascending into heaven. Louis hummed a soft hymn in his ear, soothing his tears that he didn’t know had slipped.

“Can I take off your underwear Haz? We’re going to take a little bath.”

_no._

__

_no._

__

_no._

__

_yes?_

__

_no._

“No, please don’t.”, Harry pleaded though he felt as if he knew Louis wouldn’t listen. He felt a cold shock from the bottom of the tub he believes he was placed in.

“I’m sorry.” but Harry knew it was coming, he felt his underwear slowly being slid from his legs. The cold air hit his groin like a front. “You’re so beautiful.” He could hear the fond in his voice.  “I’m going to clean you, okay?” Harry didn’t know why Louis bothered asking anymore.

The squeak of the handles rang in his ear as a surge of warm water hit his body. He cracked his eyes open and saw Louis shifting about, peeling off layers of clothes. “W-what are you doing?” Harry’s voice was timid and weak.

“I said we were going to take a bath, I always keep my word.”

Harry shook in fear maybe a bit of anger. Louis slid off his clothes and Harry never thought his life would come to this but he saw anything more beautiful.

He was constructed as if the God’s built him, his body was a temple, his skin a slight gold and body caressed in tattoos. His chest was built, but he had a slight tummy which Harry found himself salivating over. Louis was fit, and Harry found himself wanting to be strangled by his thighs. _What a lovely way to die._

“Not nice to stare, you know.” Harry shook himself with embarrassment, his cheeks produced a bright red blush.

There he was again, getting distracted by his beauty. Harry knew better than to judge people by their looks but here he is throwing all his morals out of the window for this man before him.

He closed his eyes and took deep breathes, for he hand an inkling for what was to become of him.

“I’m not getting in there naked, I know it makes you uncomfortable.”

Harry let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“Can you scoot up sweetheart, gonna get behind you.” Louis saw the blood drain from Harry’s face. “No! I didn’t mean it like um that. I’m just going to wash you up, make you feel better.”

Harry obliged with every command, letting his morals fly out the window. He felt Louis lay behind him, Louis gripped his waist with care and lifted him onto his lap. The warm water had rushed in between them, and Louis reached forward to turn it off. Louis leaned back onto the wall and brought Harry’s back to his chest.

“Let me take care of you.” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, he felt Louis run his fingers through his curly locks. A bottle cap was popped open and the smell of apple hit Harry’s nose like a freight train. His head was soon being massaged with delicate fingers, the scent of green apple was filling Harry’s lungs. Harry keened at the touch, whimpering from the calmness and overall care of his touch. Soft kisses peppered Harry’s neck and he slipped farther and farther away from reality. “Lean your head back on my shoulder Hazzy, gonna rinse your hair.” Harry was overwhelmed but he did so. He looked up and his eyes were full of beauty. He was blinded by blue, all he saw was blue, all he wanted was blue.

Louis used a rinsing cup and filled it with the warm water. He slowly poured it onto Harry’s head being careful not to get any into his eyes. He continued to pour and refill still slowly pulling his fingers through Harry’s wet hair.

“Can I wash your body?” Louis’ voice sounded so small, so vulnerable. He was concerned with Harry not wanting his touch, afraid to scare him. Though he already knew he was beyond scared at this point. Harry nodded without hesitation, not even trying to speak. Another bottle had been uncapped and the smell of cinnamon was colliding with the green apple.

It smelled like Louis.

Deep down inside that made Harry happy. His scent was like a loving claim on him, he finally felt adored. Harry wasn’t prepared for the feeling of Louis hands on his body, he touched his chest and made slow circular motions, rubbing in the cinnamon scent. His hands where lowering and Harry tensed, he felt his hand on his thighs. Rubbing him, feeling him, caressing him, loving him, and being with him.

Harry’s member began to thicken on command.

Harry tried to stifle a moan as Louis fingers dug deeper in his hip, that’s when he felt Louis’ own erection. “Ah-a L-Louis.” Harry whispered roughly, he pushed his bare bum harder onto Louis’ clothed erection. Louis grunted, “Feel what you do to me baby? Made me so hard.”` Harry gasped and clutched harder onto Louis’ thighs. Louis grinded Harry down on his lap, passionate breathes filled the lone bathroom. Louis whispered sweet nothings into Harry’s ear as he began to stroke his member. “L-Louis a-ah yes.”  Harry gasped pitifully, “Pleas-e kiss m—”

Louis didn’t have to be told twice.

Louis turned Harry’s head to the side and slotted there mouths together with urgency. They collided with colors, hues of red, blue, pink, and green. Blinded by the emotion and electricity that was vivid in their brains. It was a rush, a never ending cycle. They weren’t suffocating anymore, no, they were breathing through one another. There minds were binded, blood collided and temperatures fused.

They became one.

“I’m go-gonna cum.” Harry whispered into Louis’ mouth. Louis smiled as he tugged faster, Harry’s moans became whines as his release got closer.

“Louis!” Harry came at a fast pace, he was blinded from the shock. Louis continued to kiss his neck and nibble at his ear. “Mm you okay baby?” Louis whispered roughly, “M’great” Harry mumbled, Louis lifted him up to face him and as Harry sat down again he felt Louis’ not so little friend beneath him.

“I want to take care of you too.” Harry said desperately looking at Louis’ features. “Do whatever you want baby.” Louis smiled as he pushed a wet piece of hair from Harry’s forehead.

Harry blushed as he pulled off Louis’ wet pants.

****  
  


—————————

****  
  
  


Harry laid in the bed for a long time.

He doesn’t remember being put there or the bandages on his wrist.

 

He remembers what he did in the bathtub though.

 

He remembered the rush of emotions, the pounding of his heartbeat, the erratic breaths. And for the first time in a long time Harry didn’t regret it. He loved every touch and every moan he produced, the feeling of Louis’ skin on his. Harry still just laid there, a soft smile shown on his face. He was clothed in soft fabric that smelled distinctly of Louis. He was swallowed in Louis’ scent and he didn’t feel like escaping.  

A ringing sound interrupted his thoughts.

Harry looked around from his placement and searched for the source of the sound. He pitifully got up from the comforting bed and stumbled to the nightstand. He gripped achingly at the knob and forcefully pulled it open.

His phone.

Harry didn’t know if he was happy to see it or wary of it. Though he knew he had to get out of here. As much as he loved the last seconds with Louis he knew he was a murderer. He did some disgusting things and couldn’t possibly be capable of loving someone… _right?_

The phone blared with a unknown contact, Harry picked it up anyway.

“Harry?! I swear if this is L.T i’ll find you! Don’t you dare touch a hair on his head.”

Harry’s eyes shot open in realization.

“Officer Payne? This is Harry.”

“Fuck, Harry holy shit where are you?! Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Harry was taken back by the sudden show of concern. _Why would you care about someone you don’t know?_

“Um I don’t even know where I am! I-I’m in a house of sorts but I’m okay. H-he didn’t um hurt me.” his voice started to shake and falter. He couldn’t accuse Louis of doing anything wrong.

“I’m going to find you, okay? I promise. Ju—”  

The phone was yanked from Harry’s hands.

“What the fuck are you doing!” Louis was towering over him, his face illuminated in red. His eyes blazed with determination, his nostrils flared, his voice rang through the room. Louis furiously pushed Harry onto the bed, not caring about his wrist injury. “I’m gonna show you who's in control, you can’t defy me. I own you now.” His words were bullets to Harry’s skin. Harry’s face was blown out, tears were slipping from his face as his wrists burned. Louis yanked a piece of cloth from his back pocket and shoved it in Harry’s mouth.

“Harry!” Liam’s voice rang through the phone.

Louis face contorted into disgust. He brought the phone up to his ear, “Harry can’t come to the phone right now, his mouth is …. how can I put this? Occupied.” His voice was slick and sweet like molasses.

“What are you doing to him?! You sick bastard!”

“You should see him, so pretty for me. My apologies sir but I have to go, have to teach my baby who he belongs too.” Harry was cringing and trying to get away from his grip, it only tightened.

"No please! I’ll give you whatever you want just don’t r-rape him.” Liam’s voice was weak and at its breaking point.

Louis chuckled roughly, “Oh it won’t be rape, you know why? Because he’ll want it. He’ll beg me to take him, cry for my cock, he’ll want it so bad, and guess what? I’ll give it to him.”

With that he hung up.

 

Louis threw the phone carelessly across the room as he looked down on Harry. He leaned into him and smiled, “ Are you a little whore for someone else? I thought you were only mine. Oh how wrong I was.” Harry’s eyes widened, he knew Louis wouldn’t go there with him without his consent but he didn’t want to lose him. He was the only person that loved him.

“No! I-i’m just yours!” Harry cried out.

“Good answer, but I still have to punish you Hazzy. You’ve been a bad boy for Daddy.”

_Daddy?_

__

_Daddy._

Harry whimpered, trying to contain a moan. “You like that don’t you? Tell Daddy how much you like it.”

Harry lossed all his dignity, “I love it so much Daddy.”

_Daddy._

Louis groaned and literally brought Harry to his knees.

“So how about you show Daddy how much you love it?”

****  
  
  
  


_He is my God and he brings me to my knees to worship._

 

 


	6. Subspace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND MINOR DEATH
> 
> Sorry for the late update (again), I like to write about 12 pages worth on my laptop (tends to be about 4K words) and then I edit them myself because I am to stubborn to ask for help. 
> 
> ALL POEMS WRITTEN ARE MINE- 
> 
> also I have some horrible rhyming in the narration lmao
> 
> 5.1K words
> 
> Enjoy  
> xx

 

 

_I’m possessed by a demon; don’t blame me for my actions._

_Demons tend to control people you know._

_But the demon of lust was a cruel fellow,_

_body of red, a tiny smile above._

_Don’t look into those eyes, I’m warning you now._

_You’ll never come back._

_You won’t know how._

Harry wrote for hours on end after the bedroom fiasco, he didn’t want to speak in fear of his tainted mouth. But his blood was soaking in his words, screaming out, and crying for release. His mind was in limbo, his eyes were blinded; that’s all it ever seemed to be.

His throat burned still, he can still feel his hands in his hair.

He wonders if it will ever stop.

He wonders if he wants it to stop.

_Dark times are here, maybe to swiftly at our feet._

Writing with the intent to cry isn’t the plan for most, but for Harry what other plan could there be?

He was left alone for some time, he lost his track of time when he was laid upon the bed, and touched. Touched is a funny word, a sad, cruel word. Touching is what lovers do, though touching is what disgusting people do to.

Now here’s a sad part,

Harry doesn’t remember.

No, no, no. He remembers the beginning of it all. The beautiful loss of breathe and salty demise, he remembers those moments the most of all. He doesn’t remember what happened after that, his mind blanked, his body became possessed. He wishes that’s what happened. The demon came in through his throat and the demon was swallowed down; it attached to all the veins, all the parts of his brain. He was just a puppet.

You know what’s even sadder? He doesn’t know if he consented, doesn’t know if he said yes, maybe a no. God but deep inside their is something even sadder, even darker; he doesn’t know what he did. He doesn’t know where he was touched, where he was violated.

He knows he woke up, but maybe it’s a dream.

Pray to God it’s a dream.

Though dreams are our realest reality.

He woke up with no clothes and draped in a blanket,

_Promise to my mother,_

_I won’t take those demons._

_Promise to my father,_

_I’d never touch those demons._

_Looked at the demons,_

_kissed the deadliest one._

What is a demon? Harry’s mind isn’t like the rest, it’s dark and desolate with a chance of cladding  and a chance of tragic uncontemplated death. Demons are the Devil’s right hand man. They possess the victim for the pleasure of the Devil.

Demons come in forms of pills, maybe red, blue, green, or purple but Harry has had his fair fill. The Devil is Louis, oh a beautiful tragedy the devil may be.

_The Devil is evil,_

_but his touch is a blessing._

_He is a killer,_

_though his kiss is healing._

_The Devil hates the world,_

_but he loves me._

_He is the Devil but so am I._

_We both are the Devil and together we become angels in the sky._

Harry doesn’t know where Louis is, he woke up alone, just like he has no answers so his mind wanders deeper. Why know the truth when you can live in your imagination?

Harry likes to pretend that he’s in a long loving relationship, they met each other on a Thursday. He was working in a bakery when he came in, he was an angel. He smiled a bright smile and asked him if they had anything good, he would fumble with an answer but then he’d just smile a goofy smile. He asked him for his name, for work purposes of course, he would say “Louis” and their would be tea spills and hurriedly apologies. But Louis would just smile, “You can repay me with your number.”, he thinks he would say. Then he’d smile and blush like crazy. Though there dates would be amazing, they’d kiss under the stars at the bakery and eat stale biscuits, but it would be special.

Harry screams.

He throws all his papers around, scratches at his skin and muffles his face in a pillow. His tears are acid, his breathe is lost. Why does our imagination kill us, murder us, rip us apart?

_This is to dark for eyes alone._

_Turn back if you scream at home._

Sobbing is Harry’s most frequent pastime, writing is the only thing that stops it. Or is it the other way around?

“Did I make you hate me? Did I make you leave me?” Harry’s voice rang through the empty room. His mind was crazy, he knew one thing though.

He can’t lose him.

He can’t, no, he can’t. It would destroy him most of all; to lose someone who loves you is the greatest pain of all.

Don’t be confused, questions like ‘he can just leave!’ would be vivid in your minds by now but truthfully, he doesn’t want to leave. He never got this much attention before and even though he’s tried there seems no escape. He is locked in a windowless room, all alone, all alone.

_“May your feet serve you well_

_And the rest be sent to Hell_

_Where they always have belonged_

_Cold hearts brew colder songs_

_Fate will play us out_

_With a song of pure romance_

_Stomp your feet and clap your hands”_

Harry scatters, he literally scatters. He knows he heard a voice, a beautiful voice. It had to be him, he can’t be crazy. Can he? That was the voice of an angel, the fallen angel of death.

_“Let's kill tonight!_

_Kill tonight!_

_Show them all you're not the ordinary type_

_Let's kill tonight!_

_Kill tonight!_

_Show them all you're not the ordinary type_

_Let's kill tonight!”_

Harry heard a soft snort, “Irony at it’s best.” 

His head shot up and he found himself scrambling back to the bed, _I-I’m a good boy, Louis only likes good boys._

“Hazzy?” Louis’ voice rang through his ears. His Devil walked through the bedroom door and Harry swore he saw heaven for the first time. “You’re such a good boy, I missed you.” Louis’ eyes shined bright as he made his way to the bed. Harry snuggled into his body and cuddled him freely. 

“I missed you Lou.”

Harry’s face filled with a blush. “Lou? I like it. You’re my Haz and I’m your Lou. Perfect.” Louis pulled through his delicate hair, humming softly.

In that moment it was pure heaven, just soft breaths and warm holds. They never felt so content.

Moments like that pull you from your deep secrets, your fears, you insanity. It wasn’t a one-sided feeling, Louis felt everything all at once like he never felt before, like it wasn’t to late to save him.

Truthfully, it is too late. He can’t save him from falling down, he’s reached the end of a bottomless pit, confusion at its best. No the Devil can’t be saved from falling since he already fell but he can be lifted up just as well.

“Um, C-can I get some clothes?” Harry’s voice shook.

Louis just smiled, “Yeah, I put some clothes under the bed for you.”

Harry quickly shuffled to under the bed and saw a soft lilac sweater and black tights.

He looked up to Louis’ blushed face, “I thought it look pretty on you…” Harry blushed a crimson shade and wiggled himself into the clothes. “You’re gorgeous.” Louis admired him for a second more and kissed atop his forehead. “Can we cuddle, I need one right about now.” Louis shuffled them to the bed and they both laid down leisurely. Louis scooped Harry up and held him tight, fearing he would slip into his abyss.

Harry’s throat burned with the question, “Lou, what happened before…before I-I fell asleep.”

Louis just smirked and snuggled closer to him, “You don’t remember? You made me see God through your mouth on my cock.”

Harry’s face bloomed a delicate shade of red, “I remember that, I-I just don’t remember after it.”

It was all silent, only Louis’ steady breaths filled the room. “I gave you a pill, to knock you out.”

Harry waited.

“I only did it because you were restless, I wanted you to take a nap. I-I promise Haz, I swear to you that I didn’t do anything else. I could never and would never—I love you. I regretted it right after but I thought it would help. I just took off your clothes because you looked uncomfortable, god I’m an idiot…” Louis ranted

Harry’s heart swelled with affection, _Of course I think negative of this beautiful human being._

“It’s okay Lou, you aren’t an idiot. Just don’t let there be a next time. I-I was really scared when I woke up.” Even though he had anger in his heart, he couldn’t bare to be mad at him. Louis hugged him closer at his words, he whispered sweet nothings into his ear. Promises of love and praise filled his brain, he was content. Sweet apologies were whispered to him, he wanted to kiss the moon.  

A phone ring erupted the everlasting moment.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna answer it.” Louis voice was muffled by Harry’s curls. Harry giggled softly and turned to pet his face. “Answer it Loui-e.” Harry’s voice was loopy, he thinks this is what love must do to you.

_Is this what love feels like?_

Louis grumbled and pouted but soon got up from Harry’s loving embrace. “Who the hell is it?! I’m fucking busy.” Louis voice was livid when he picked up the phone.

“Why the hell are _you_ calling me.”—“No, fuck off.”—“I could care less if you got yourself killed, if you call me again I’ll kill you myself.”

Louis ended the call and let himself fall face down next to Harry. Harry smiled and rubbed circles on his back, “You okay?”, his voice was softer than normal but just as sweet. Louis smiled into the bed sheets, “M’fine Haz, just an annoying dick.” Harry didn’t want to press the subject any further so he stayed silent.

“You know what I just realized Haz?” Louis slowly got up from his lazy position.

“What?” Harry cuddled himself into Louis’ chest. Louis hummed softly in content.

“I never gave you a tour of my humble home, and as much as I’d love to stay here all day, it would be best if I showed you around.” Harry groaned in despair, he was so comfortable here, why move? Louis smiled at his pouty face. “C’mon love.” Louis softly whispered into his ear.

Harry grumbled but got up none the less, Louis swiftly held his hand.

Harry thinks he died and went to heaven right then, no one ever wanted to hold his hand before. It was a rush of affection, a blinding thing that got his heart pounding. “Time for the grand tour!” Louis happily took Harry through the room door.

Harry thought he opened the gate to heaven.

He didn’t compare it to heaven for money, toys, or riches. He compared it to heaven because it was Louis, Louis was heaven. Everything in the room before him screamed ‘Louis’, the brown leather couch, flower wreaths, little knick knacks of superhero’s lying across the coffee table.

Then he froze in awe.

Across from him on a petite soft pink wall was a framed picture of himself, he was asleep with a soft smile etched across his visage. Harry looked at this picture of himself in shock, it was beautiful, the lighting, his features, and the soft touch. He’d never seen himself like this before.

“That’s what you look like to me, everyday. I just wanted you to see how beautiful you are.” Louis kissed his cheek softly. Harry felt his heart grow bigger with every second, his eyes watered and his smile contagious. “D-don’t cry love! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you.” Louis was a bustle of nerves looking at Harry’s blotchy red face.

“No! Lou I love it, I-I just no one has ever called me beautiful or said such nice things to me.” Harry smiled through his weeping. Louis’ face shined bright and he handed Harry a tissue which he took eagerly. “Sorry for being a baby.” but Louis shook his head in disagreement. “I’m happy that you can be open to me, I never want you to feel like you have to hide your emotions.”

Harry didn’t know if he could love him any harder than he already does.

_I love him, I love him, I love him, he loves me, I can’t do it._

Though Harry wouldn’t dare say it, the looming guilt of his happiness always tends to creep up on him. “Sorry my house is pretty small, the kitchen is just around the corner but eh it’s nothing special. I barely go in there.” Harry just smiled at his awkwardness, “No, I love it. Your house is perfect to me.” Louis smiled at him and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Where’s your bedroom though? Not that um like I didn’t mean it like um—”

Louis snorted, “You’re really cute when you're flustered, um well the bedroom you where in is our bedroom.” Harry’s heart beat quickened its pace as reality set in, he was stuck here.

“So you slept with me? Like—in the same bed?” Harry didn’t know whether that was creepy or endearing, he was moving towards the latter. Louis shook his head feverishly,”No, no, no! I’m not that creepy, I slept on the couch.”

Harry’s face contorted into shock, “You sleep on the couch?! Lou this is your house please sleep in your own bed.” Louis took both of Harry’s hands in his own, ignoring how amazingly soft they felt, “This is our house. We can share the bed unless you’re uncomfortable with that.” Louis’ eyes shone brighter than any star. Harry smiled and nodded, ignoring the deep fear his heart harbored, “As long as you’re happy.” Harry didn’t know if Louis’ smile could get any bigger and he engulfed him in a hug.

“Anything involving you makes me happy.” Louis couldn’t lie about that if he tried. Through all the torn knots in his cataclysmic mind he has his one pair of scissors that can cut through the veins, Louis is bad at analogies. Harry could be a saint, Louis swears upon it, but the creeping guilt of corruption leaks through his blood. He can’t stop himself from taking advantage, he knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t control it. The tangled mindset of Harry complements him so well.

It saddens him to know that if Harry had experienced anything different in his life, he wouldn’t be with him, he wouldn’t want him.

So Louis pushes that down, he fears his insecurities will find him once more, he fears what he may do. He opens his eyes to the angel before him, no one is quite as beautiful. “I am so lucky to have you, so lucky to be in your presence.” Louis blabbers about, no macho persona can hide his fondness. He feels like he’s melting but coming together at the same time, the lock on his brain is coming loose.

Harry’s grumbling stomach interrupts the moment. His face erupts in a blush, “You’re hungry? God! I’m an idiot, of course you are.” Louis fumbled about in an awkward rage. For someone so violent he is pretty harmless.

But you never know, personality disorder is always on the table.

“It’s okay! I’m fine Lou.”, Louis swore his heart skips 2 beats every time he hears him say that. “No, we’re getting some food in that cute little body of yours.” Harry pouted at Louis words, “I’m not little and I’m definitely not cute.” Louis smirked and lifted Harry’s chin with his finger, “I think otherwise love.” If Harry could melt, he would have done so a long time ago.

They both headed into the desolate kitchen and Louis searched through his cupboards and the pantry. “Crap, I don’t have anything but stale bread and ramen. Guess we should go grocery shopping?” Harry just stood still with a dopey smile on his face, such a cutie. “Can I trust you to not try to run away in Tesco? Or do I have to lock you back up again?” Harry shook his head feverishly, “I’m a good boy Lou, I-I won’t, I promise.” Louis gave him a peck on the lips, Harry’s face erupted into a light burgundy.  “You already look so cute, can we go now? Want to properly make you a meal.” Louis grabbed his hand and lead him through the bolted up front door.

The light hit Harry’s eyes and he fell back. It was a different atmosphere from the dark lighted, closed off room. Louis looked at him with sincere concern, “You okay Haz?” he said as he tried to grab his hand once more. Harry obliged, “M’fine, it’s just the sun is a killer.”

 _Ha. Killer jokes_ , thought Louis.

“Guess me and the sun have something in common then aye?” Louis kicked numbly at the gravel near his feet. Harry shook his head, “You are a kidnapper mostly.” Louis looked at him with shock and deep sadness.

“I-I know b-bu—” Louis was quickly cut off by Harry. “No, let me finish.” Harry’s voice was rough and seeping with emotion.

“You kidnapped the sun in your smile, and entranced all mammals with it. The sun was missed before you smiled but when you do it fills me up and stays for a while. I am also captured by your smile, because when you smile my mind gets mushed and feelings splattered under the sun. You are the sun, there is no comparison. You are my sun, there shall never be a better companion.”

Harry recited one of his poems that he had wrote while under the sedation of love. Louis’ eyes widened with every word, tears beckoning to break free. “I-I wish I had beautiful words to give you, but I’m nothing but a shell of a man. With you I-I’m different, I feel things that I’ve never felt before. I just can’t express it a—”

Harry cut him off abruptly with a passionate kiss.

Their lips collided as Harry placed his palm on Louis’ cheeks. Louis was stunned without a reaction until he embraced it fully and began to kiss back with just as much enthusiasm. Their lips kissed with a desperate beat, trying to capture one another. They didn’t want to ever stop, their blood rushed through their veins. The breezy air was silent with little bird crows and the sound of their loving breaths. “I love you so much.” Louis whispered into Harry’s mouth, as if it was the most precious secret the world could ever keep. Tears glistened off of Harry’s rosy cheeks, he wished he could say the same. “I-I want to love you so bad.” Harry painfully sobbed through breathes of the passionate snog. Louis said nothing but kissed his lips softly and embraced him in a deep hug. “I’ll wait for you to be ready, as cheesy as that sounds, I always knew I loved you. I’ll just wait until you realize that too.”

Harry took in all that was Louis, this beautiful being. He wishes that he knew what love was; it pains him to not understand his own feelings. “How did we go from heading to Tesco to love confessions and crying…” Harry muffled into Louis’ shoulder with a sad chuckle. Louis just petted his hair, “That happens to the best of us sometimes.”

No words were expressed as they solemnly walked to the truck. Just the bird crows and crisp fall air.

**  
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**———————————————————-**

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Harry was shaking immensely.

Louis trusted him enough to leave him to shop alone; Harry never felt so empty. He was used to the absence of human contact, but after Louis he never could be without it again. At least that’s what Harry’s brain screamed.

Alas he stayed in the meat aisle, choosing from different assorts of packaged meat. He couldn’t choose for he felt that he was frozen in place, he couldn’t function without Louis. He literally had no choice in mind or physical reaction. He felt like a puppet whose strings weren’t being put to use.

“So you just spend your days staring at packaged meat?” some feminine voice called out to him in the distance.

Harry flinched at the uncommon voice and didn’t allow himself to find out who it belonged to. “You’re just gonna stand there Mr.Tall and Handsome?” Harry still did not reply but felt a presence beside him. He turned his head regretfully to a girl, who couldn’t be older then 18, staring at him with brown eyes. Harry didn’t want to be rude but he couldn’t find the voice to converse with her. He couldn’t find poetry in her eyes or face, so he saw no need to speak to her. Harry pleaded with himself to not be rude, it’s just a conversation after all, no harm done.

“Nice to _meat_ you, my names Liana.”

Harry had a weak spot for puns, a tiny smile escaped.

“My sister said becoming a vegetarian was a huge mis- _steak_.” She continued on, her heart filled with accomplishment from the tiny giggle that came out of the man’s mouth.

“I’m trying to make you laugh, the _steaks_ have never been higher.” Harry full on snorted at her pun and his dimples emerged. Liana smiled brightly from her accomplishment. “Now can I get your name?” she asked earnestly. “M’names Harry. I must say your jokes were very _cleaver_. Get it? A meat cleaver!” Harry and Liana erupted into giggles.

“You’re not so bad Harry. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship my punny friend.” Liana softly punched Harry’s arm. She adjusted her silky black locks in her ponytail and smiled up at Harry, “How old are you anyway?” Harry asked her trying to get rid of the silence. “M’only sixteen, going to be seventeen though!” Liana claimed proudly. Harry looked down at her with admiration, she reminded him of a younger sister he never had and always wanted.

“I’m twent—“ Harry was cut off by a sharp “What are you doing Harry?”

Harry knew that voice, that beautiful haunting voice. “Lou! I-I was just talking to her. She’s nice, promise.” Louis walked over to Harry’s other side in all his glory and wrapped his arm around his waist.

“Wo-oah, you’re gay? I mean I have no problem with that, considering you're both hot, but I thought I was being pretty persistent with my flirting tactics.” Harry’s face fell at her words, no one wanted to be his friend.

Harry also became stiff and nervous because Louis was right beside them and he would not take lightly to this. “S-sorry Liana, you’re way to young for my old self anyway. I’m s-sure you’ll find someone when you’re older.” Harry’s voice was wavering as he silently prayed that she would leave, he feared what Louis may do. “You’re one lucky man!” Liana looked at Louis with a tint of sadness and jealousy. “Um eh bye Mr.Tall and Handsome” Liana quickly moved in and cautiously hugged Harry, “One day I hope to find someone as pretty as you.”

Louis grabbed her and pushed her backwards, “How about no.” his voice was dark and eery, it sent shivers down Harry’s spine. “Lou plea—” Harry was cut off once more, “No! I’m done with your bullshit Harry!” Louis fumed as he approached Liana, who was trying to process what had happened. “If you know what’s good for you bitch, you’ll stay quiet.” Louis’ eyes were mad hues of blue and dark shades of purple. Liana nodded her head, “I’m so-sorry! I-I” Louis just laughed at her misfortune. “Sweetheart do you know who I am?” Liana shook her head. “Ever heard of L.T?” a horrid smile etched across his face. Liana’s eyes opened in fear and she opened her mouth to scream,

Louis bashed her head on the floor, knocking her out.

Harry rushed toward him “No! Louis please do-don’t! I’ll do anything please!” Louis just laughed and shook his head. “Don’t you think you’ve done _enough_. It’s too late for her anyway, she has tried my patience too many times.”  Harry pushed Louis away from the fallen girl.

Horrid mistake.

Louis grabbed Harry’s arm and smashed him against the wall next to the freezers. “I will slit your throat here and now if you ever touch try to inflict harm on me again. You can not and will not push me around. You are not  in control, I am. You fucking ungrateful bitch, I love you but I will not put up with your crap. I will not _ever_ be disrespected again.”  his voice was rough and agitated. Louis’ hands dug into Harry’s skin, making him whimper in agony. “Shut it.” Louis released his grip on Harry and Harry fell to the cold floor.

“Just for that, when we get home you’re being punished. But I’ll let you watch me kill her, _what a treat that will be_!” Louis turned and started to drag her limp body towards the nearest restroom. Harry whispered out a short no but to no avail he followed them. Harry was amazed at how oblivious everyone seemed to be, the world always was blind to things like this.

Louis rustled her into the empty men’s bathroom and yanked Harry in with him, locking the door. “Lou please, I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it!” Harry sobbed into Louis’ sweater. Louis had a soft crooked smile and he petted his curls, “Bad people need to be hurt, that’s the only way. I’m just protecting you baby.” Harry nodded in silent tears, he couldn’t lose him over this.

Louis proceeded to examine the unconscious body; he also took out a pocket blade that had been lying in his shoe. Louis smiled as he knelt down, “You see this Harry, this is what happens when you touch what’s _mine_.” With no warning Louis plunged the knife into her chest, a sick cracking sound echoed the restroom. Blood began to seep through her shirt and squirt from her chest, “Now I usually like to torture my victims but eh I’m on a time crunch. But I always have time for detail.” 

Harry began to cry violently as he watched Louis tear her bloodied flesh from her neck. Blood splattered onto Louis’ face and he chuckled; continuing to watch the blood run through the cracks on the floor. “Hmm, I don’t think she needs these hands now, do you Haz? Nope, she used them to touch you, bad choice.” Harry sunk to the floor in horror as he watched Louis cautiously snap her hands from her arm, the cracking was ringing through his ear. “Look at all that blood! Do you see it? Every popped vein, all the torn muscle.” Harry ran into the stall and vomited. “Don’t leave just yet! I haven’t even taken out her eyes!” Harry screamed within the stall.

“STOP!” his voice was broken and shrilled. Louis stopped immediately and sighed. He quickly carved in his signature on her forehead and ran the faucet water. He rubbed his skin vigorously with soap and washed his face thoroughly. He cleaned off his blade and placed it back into his shoe. Blood was soaking the bottom of Louis’ black skinnies, he groaned and rolled them up so that it wasn’t noticeable. Louis saw blood on the bottom of his Vans, “Ugh, I hate being so messy.” He took off the shoes and tried to rub them clean, after he believes he succeeded pretty well he placed the semi wet shoes on his feet.

“Harry…we have to leave.” Louis’ voice was drained and tired. Harry wouldn’t respond, he just continued to curl up in the stall. “Hazzy, please.”

Louis walked into the stall and his heart broke at the sight of Harry. “I’m sorry for scaring you baby, but it had to be done. You wouldn’t listen, and y-you hurt me…” Harry’s head shot up at the sound of Louis’ broken voice. “No! I-I didn’t want to hurt you, I was scared!” Harry got up and clutched to Louis’ sweater. He smelled of dried blood and cinnamon. “It’s okay, I still love you.” Louis smiled as he kissed his cheek, “I know you didn’t mean it love. Daddy’s got you.” They walked back and forth , slowly, next to the dead body that proceeded to bleed out.

Louis led Harry out of the bathroom, placing a under maintenance sign on the door.

Their cart was right where Louis left it and the continued shopping as if nothing happened.

“When we get home, you better run to our bed and get on your knees. I haven’t forgotten about your punishment.” Louis whispered in Harry’s ears as they waited in the check-out line. Harry whimpered and a cold front ran through his body.

He didn’t want to think about this day, the disfigured body ,or the sea of blood. He can still see her face in his mind, still see her hands being ripped off, and the flesh being torn.

_Louis knows what he’s talking about. He is protecting me, I hurt him. He deserves so much more._

Harry had no realization of right and wrong anymore. He couldn’t imagine Louis doing any wrong, even if he tried.

“Hey um, are you okay? You look a little sick.” The man behind them whispered to Harry, “I’m fine really.” Harry didn’t want another death to be his fault.

It wasn’t until then that he realized no one recognized him, no one was looking for him.

The police reports had to be out by now, a missing person's report maybe? But no one cared about Harry, no one was concerned for his well being.

_Except Louis._

_Louis cares about me more than anyone ever can._

Harry watched the gorgeous man before him and admired him.

**  
**  
  
  


_I am like the possessed._

_I am the possessed._

_Please oh please devil,_

_take me away._

 

 

 

 


	7. Judge & Jury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death and Revelation ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: DUBIOUS CONSENT AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND MENTIONS OF RAPE 
> 
> THIS IS A VERY TRIGGERING CHAPTER
> 
> 5.9K words

Harry doesn’t remember much of when they got home; he swears he saw flashing lights but the car swerved. His head bashed against the window in a flickered moment; his vision blurry, the sound distant.

 He was slipping silently away. “Harry!”, his eyes shot open at his name being called. “Oh my—are you okay? Shit.” Harry couldn’t think straight, his mind went askew from the commotion. He lolled his head back and forth until the darkness trained over his eyes to consume him.

 “Haz!”

 Harry doesn’t remember much.

 Harry doesn’t remember.

 “Harry?”

 Harry never remembers.

 

 

**————**

 

 

He woke up with a jolt and an eye twitch.

 Harry was snuggled onto a little bed and swaddled in soft cloth blankets. “You ‘wake?” Harry flopped off of the bed with a great force. His face gripped the ground as he was met with itchy carpet, “Jesus Christ, it’s just me Haz. Sorry to scare you, here ‘lemme help you.” Louis lifted him of the floor and kissed his forehead.

 Harry was beyond confused, he wasn’t in Louis’ house; no it’s our house, of course. Louis laid him onto the bed once more,

 “I woke your adorable butt up, go back to bed. I have business to take care of anyway.”

 That silently stuck a cord with Harry, if he remembers anything it’s that Louis always says that line. “I had some business.” “just business.” “I was busy with business.”

 It’s like a light was lit before him and all his built up anger bursted forward.

 “What’s business?” Harry’s eyes were blazing in forest green.

 “Why does it matter love?”, Louis began to busy himself with finding a shirt in his suitcase.

 “Because I’m fucking tired, okay? I’m done with going along with all of these antics! I watched you kill someone! I-I have no freedom, yo-you don’t love me. I don’t know much about love but I know that it isn’t kidnapping, threatening, abusing, and neglecting the person you ‘claim’ to love. I will ask you questions and you will answer.” Harry’s voice cracked and he wrenched out a sob.

 Louis was angered, beyond belief, but he couldn’t bare seeing Harry so broken. He couldn’t bare knowing that this was all his fault, it always seemed to be his fault. He placed himself next to Harry’s shaking body and reached out to comfort him.

 Harry jerked away, Louis knows he heard his own dead heart snap.

 “I-I do love you, I really do.” Louis pleaded, but Harry just sobbed harder. Louis felt his own tears progressing, he knew this wasn’t normal.

 This wasn’t the plan; it was never supposed to happen.

 He was battling himself for control,

 he lost it.

“Fuck! I’m sorry for lying to you, I lied Haz, I lied to you.” Louis voice was broken and his eyes rimmed with tears. His voice was just a whisper.

 Harry’s eyes bruised with red, his heart pounded, screaming in his chest. _He never loved me._

 Harry bolted upwards, his heart pained and he let out a howl of agony. Louis pulled him down and secured him. “No! Please, please, please! Let me talk Harry.”

 Harry wasn’t having it and he cried out more, his veins popped, his face blotched with acid tears, he screamed and shook. All this time Harry had been killing himself for doubting Louis, but it seemed as if he knew it all too well.

 “Baby, I-I’m incapable of love. How can a man so evil like me find _love_? Love isn’t in my description, it never came to mind. I can’t love, not even if I plead myself to do so. I harm others and _I like it_! How can someone want to adore and please if all his brain screams is for him to cause pain.” Louis’ eyes became blurred, his voice strained.

 “Love is just a word.” Harry sniffed, “I have been lead by a false sense of it my whole life, I believed so painfully that I could be—that I could—love someone or anything at all.” Harry grasped Louis and fell onto his shoulders, “—But I can’t.”

 Louis looked up to the ceiling and a tiny smile flew across his visage.

 “We’re just two fucked up people aren’t we?” Harry mumbled into his shoulder.

 Louis smiled softly, “We sure are, but we can be fucked up together.”

 They stopped talking after that, there was nothing left to say.

 

 

**————**

 

 

“Did the police find your house?”

 “ _Our_ house—and yes. You’re just full of questions today aren’t you love?” Louis didn’t like the bitter tone his voice progressed.

 “If you answered my questions then this wouldn’t be a problem, but then again you are a murderer.”

 Now Harry was being stubborn, his lips where pouted and his arms crossed. He was in a state of hostility, like he was facing a stranger.

 Logically, he was with a stranger but down inside, under the veins in his heart, it felt like he knew Louis emotionally. This stranger before him, eyes blazing and heart racing, is no mere stranger anymore.

 This stranger is home, this stranger is his haven.

 “Good observation sweet cheeks, I wonder how you figured that one out.” Louis quipped back. His heart ached at the hostility between them. Louis swore that Harry had forgiven him, but he knew that he broke him beyond repair.

 He used Harry’s insecurities against him, but what more does anyone suspect? He thrives to live up to everyone's horrible interpretation of him. His aspiration in life is to be what people despise; he never wanted to be liked.

 “We know nothing about each other.” Harry stared at the hotel ceiling, he didn’t even know where he was or how long he had been gone. Nobody seemed to be looking for him, though he wasn’t surprised.

 “You write novels about me love, I think you know plenty.”

 Harry pursed his lips, “That’s _fiction_ , I wrote about how I thought you grew up or acted. I don’t actually know, it’s all assumption.”

 “Trust me, you got plenty wrong in those books. I just wanted you to stop talking about it.”

 Harry didn’t feel like giving up, “Then I’ll tell you about myself then, I wa—”

 “I know everything about you. You were born on February 1st, 1991 in Bromsgrove. Your birth parents are Des Styles and Anne Styles. You have one sibling named Gemma Styles. Your family moved down to Cheshire when you were seven years old. You first started writing about me when you were twenty-three years old. Your zodiac sign is Aquarius. Your father was very hard on you and neglected you, your mother never bothered to care for you, and your sister pretends you don’t exist. You made up a fake persona of a playboy to hide your true colors, you used to sleep with a variety of women in UNI, stopped, and then started again. You dated Taylor Swift about a year ago at the time of your new book release, you ‘mutually’ broke it off and you have been single ever since. You also have never been with a man before me, but you have had romantic interest in them since the age of fifteen. I was your first male kiss and your first time giving a blowjob. You also don’t know if you are truly gay, you have feelings for me that you can’t describe but you have no feelings for other men as of now.”

 Harry’s breathing halted and his eyes expanded, “I-I”

 “You don’t know anything about me except that I have a hobby of killing people. You don’t know my backstory, my temptations, my reasons, or my motivations. You don’t even know why I murdered Taylor Swift. You have been blinded by your insecurities that I feed off of, you still are. I didn’t use you for sexual gain, I truthfully am intrigued by you. I feel as if I need to be around you to gain a sense of humanity. You are the weight that pulls me down from the metallic blood high. I’ll tell you about myself on my own terms, not when you demand to know.”

 Harry just laid there, his mind raced with emotions. The pit of his stomach trembled in knots and his heart was twisted beyond return.

 Alas, he just laid there and let Louis run his hand through his hair. He didn’t feel human anymore, but in reality; he never remembered when he ever did.

 

 

**————**

 

 

Louis decided that it would be best for them to stay low, knowing that they were being traced by the police. So Harry was formally restricted to staying inside the hotel room unless he is accompanied by Louis. Nothing seemed different, it was always the same routine.

 Harry was propped up against the wall, breathing in the musty carpet air. Louis had been laying across the bed for hours now, they barely spoke a word. Words seemed foreign on their tongues, like a chant forbidden to be uttered.

 “The first thing I ever killed was a dog.”

 Harry’s eyes shot open and his spine stiffened, “Louis i-it’s fine, I don’t need to kno—”

 “No, you wanted to know. No turning back now.” Louis smiled as he curled himself up into the blankets and fell into his dark abyss once more.

It never stopped.

 Hours passed until Louis’ boisterous voice rang out again,

 “Did you know I was the result of a rape? What a story that is.”

 Harry’s hands began to shake, “W-what?”

 “Rape baby, my mother was raped and got impregnated with me from it.” His voice showed no mercy, his words pierced Harry’s ears making them bleed. He had a sad humor in his voice that haunted him.

 “Oh my God, Louis I-I’m sorry, please. I don’t need to know anymore. I’m so sorry for asking.” Harry’s eyes were bloodshot, he hadn’t slept since he’d woken.

 Louis turned and faced Harry against the wall. He sat upright and criss crossed onto the bed.

 “My mother wanted to abort me, she almost did. Sometimes I wish she did, you know? Well, let's get back to the story. She wasn’t abusive just hateful, she could've cared less for my well-being. I can’t blame her for that now, can I? I mean every time she saw me she was met with the eyes of the man who raped her,”

Louis snorted, “she told me that once. Anyway, she was a drunken whore by the time I was ten, she had other kids by then um I think? Haha it’s not like I even remember their names anymore, it was such a long long time ago. But I do remember I had about 5, maybe 6, siblings. Their names I don’t seem to recall, I was to high off of that medication my mum gave me to remember much.”

 Harry just sat obediently, letting his ears get tormented. But his mind began to twist, like maybe he wasn’t all alone in the feeling of desperation. Louis felt how he did, right? Louis went through the same emotions he had; _We aren’t so different in the end_.

 “The doc said I was mentally unstable, like apparently all that crack my mum was taking got to my head. I was spiraling of off insanity by age fifteen, I was constantly watching horror movies from my mum’s crappy television while she was getting nailed by our landlord for rent money. I liked the way the victims always screamed, how the fear peaked through there eyes. I also really liked when the blood came pounding through their bodies, and the sound of their flesh tearing. One day I just had to try it out myself!”

 Louis was ecstatic, his heart raced with joy.

 “My neighbor had a dog, it was a very annoying one at that. It was constantly barking and yapping away in the night. I couldn’t stand that brown furred pest any longer, so one night I casually went outside and saw it lying along her porch. I was so filled up with rage from my latest night of no sleep that I surged forward onto that porch and stomped on the poor pups head. It’s brains splattered across the deck and my shoes, the metallic blood seeped through the cracked wood and the bones split beneath my toes. I never felt more alive! So I wiped down the deck and placed the dead pup on the road, staging a road kill accident. I felt so accomplished, like a gate inside me had opened.”

 Harry began to tremble, his eyes watered at the images in his head. He went through so much. W _ho am I to judge him for who he has become. This isn’t his fault!_  

Louis got up from his place of stature and sat next to Harry against the wall. “M’sorry for scaring you.” Louis placed a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder.

 “No, I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Harry’s voice was foreign.

 Louis looked at him with a puzzled expression, “But I’m the monster, I brought it upon myself.”

 "No! Y-you were forced into an unloving home, no one taught you better. You're perfect Louis! Right? Your mother sh-should have cared for you! She abandoned you! Your siblings didn't bother either, right?" Harry looked upon the beautiful blued eyed man's countenance, "You a-and me are the same. I'm not all alone anymore." Harry's mind was a delusional thing.

Louis smirked and placed a soft touch to Harry's cheek, "With me sweetheart, you'll never be alone again."

 “Promise?”

 “Promise.”

 

 

**————**

 

 

Louis only felt a tad of remorse when he realized he was using Harry once more.

 Which actually means quite a lot coming from a psychopath.

 Louis laid on the bed cuddling Harry, he stroked his hair solemnly. He knew that it wasn’t safe, telling Harry all these things; but deep inside he knew he could tell him anything, he was compelled to. Louis finds himself in a tug-of-war with his heart and mind. His mind whispers for him to just take full control, Harry will surely let him; his heart, however, screamed for him to protect this man-boy. His heart wanted him to hold this broken boy close and repair every crack and wrinkle with his blood soaked tears.

 Louis subdued those thoughts.

 He couldn’t have that poison confiscate his body. The urge to taste and worship every inch of Harry’s skin would have to be delayed.

 Louis heart thumped in his chest once more, the impending guilt was catching up to him once more.

 He’d never felt so many emotions all at once; it was like the closer he got to Harry, the more human he felt. Louis couldn’t say that Harry felt the same, he was stuck in limbo, Harry was losing his humanity by every second he spent breathing Louis’ air. Louis was ashamed to admit that the thought of that scared him.

 Louis has only felt fear once in his life; he always seemed to have control. All this anxiety, pain, and guilt is rushing towards him at full force and he can only stand and watch. He was slipping further into Harry’s skin; he was being intoxicated by his every breath.

 He spent most of his months watching, slowly falling into his own trap.

 Harry’s sweet breaths of sleep filled the atmosphere and Louis wanted to be swallowed up. His airways constricted at the thought of the future between them.

 But Louis wouldn’t back down from this challenge; he’d raise hell single handedly before he did that.

 Harry’s pale cheeks were illuminated by the lampshade, Louis’ heart fluttered, but he wouldn’t dare admit it.

 “I won’t let anyone get you, my angel. I’ll tear them apart with my bare hands, I promise.” Louis whispered sickeningly into Harry’s neck.

 He grabbed onto Harry’s pliant body and brought him closer, coddling him.

 

_ “Lullaby, and goodnight, in the skies stars are bright. _

 

_ May the moon's silvery beams bring you sweet dreams. _

 

_ Close your eyes now and rest, may these hours be blessed. _

_ ' _

_ Til the sky's bright with dawn, when you wake with a yawn. _

 

_ Lullaby, and goodnight. _

 

_ I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms.” _

 

Louis sang lightly to the sleeping figure, his own eyes began to betray him as he slipped into his own reality.

 

 

**————**

 

 

Harry had been awake for some time now, he was slack against Louis’ body. Louis’ soft breath caressed his neck and covered him in a haze of adoration.

 He was to wrapped up in counting Louis’ heartbeat to notice a familiar ring tone has been harassing the atmosphere.

 He heard Louis’ grumble and his tight grip loosen, his heart sank. Harry forgot about the confessions and the insane mentality, he only remembered the little promises and soft touches. Louis made a high pitched whine as he stretched with a groan. Harry was enamored by the soft tufts of hair that stuck out atop his head and how small Louis seemed to be when he woke.

 He watched Louis tumble off the bed and rip through a small bag, gripping onto a phone and snapping it open with aggression.

 “What the _fuck_ do you want?” His voice was rough and Harry was entranced, he was ashamed when his cock thickened.

 Harry heard a voice on the other line but the words spoken were not clear. Louis face showed signs of annoyance.

 “They found my house dumbass—No! You disgusting swine, don’t fucking accuse Harry of doing anything. He wouldn’t dare defy me, I’m tired of your whining. Surprised you’re not dead already.”

 Harry paled at the sound of his name through Louis’ lips. Questions and curiosity flooded his mind.

 “I just woke up, okay?—yes he’s with me, duh.—I don’t care, those are your problems not mine. So if you wouldn’t mind I have some people to take care of.” Louis slammed his phone shut and stuffed it back into his bag.

 “You awake angel?” Louis walked over to the bed and kissed Harry’s temple. A tinge of sadness tugged in Harry’s chest, “M’ up now.” Louis smiled at his silly bed-head and kissed his forehead once more.

 “Haz, I have some busin—stuff, to take care of. Will you be good if I leave you here?”

 Harry’s heart started pounding against his rib cage, his eyes widened.

 

_ ' “With me sweetheart, you’ll never be alone again.” _

 

_ “Promise?” _

 

_ “Promise.” ’ _

 

Harry swears he remembers Louis saying that, so if he leaves him, he lied, right? Harry was shaking at the thought of being alone again. He couldn’t be left to his own thoughts much longer.

 “Y-you’re leaving me?” Harry’s voice sounded so small.

 Louis’ faced flushed with concern, “Only for a little bit, I’ll be back love.”

 Harry wasn’t okay with that answer, he became dependent on Louis being there for him, smiling at him, helping him, holding him, and trying to love him.

 Harry believed that Louis tried to love him but Harry was just so unlovable that he couldn’t bare with it.

 Harry believed it was his fault that Louis killed those people, that he thinks he can’t love, that he can’t love Louis, and that he is so secretive.

 Harry was going insane. 

“Please, don’t leave me alone.” Harry started to babble and stutter, his tears starting to burn his face.

 Louis kneeled in front of the tall figure that sat on the edge of the bed. He smiled a sadistic smile, “Baby, you won’t like it and you’ll get in the way.”

 “No! I promise, I won’t say anything! I-I’m just scared Lou.”

 If Louis’ had a heart it would've been broken, he never wants Harry to be scared of himself. “Okay, you got me, you can come but do not make a sound.” Harry had a shy smile and his eyes lit up in relief.

 “—and don’t fight me, or even try to stop me from doing what I’m about to do out there.”

 Harry didn’t question it but nodded instead.

 “Get dressed baby, I have some clothes for you.”

 Harry obliged and followed Louis commands, he wanted him to be happy.

 Harry shuffled with the tight jeans and successfully shoved himself in them. He grabbed the white t-shirt and put on the sweatshirt Louis brought him.

 Louis’ eyes went dark at the sight of him, “You always look so pretty for Daddy.”

 Louis brought Harry’s flushed body against his and planted plaint kisses against his throat, “D-Daddy, I-I…”

 Harry let out a desperate moan as Louis began to suck on his neck, finding that triggering pulse.

 But as soon as it started, it ended.

 Louis backed away from the flushed boy and admired his work, “My beautiful baby.”

 “I’d love to taste every inch of you right now but we’re going to be very late.” Louis said to a pouting Harry.

 Harry grumbled as he laced up his tattered brown boots. Louis had a fond smile upon his visage which he quickly wiped off.

 “Hey Ha—” Louis started to turn around when he collided with a urgent Harry.

 Harry toppled over Louis and they fell onto the floor.

 “Oops?” Harry suggested with a slight humorous tone that he has never expressed before.

 “Hi.” Louis had a dopey smile that he wished he could replace.

 Harry stumbled off of him with a guilty expression and helped Louis to his feet, “Sorry Lou, I’m a tad clumsy.”

 “A ‘tad’ doesn’t even describe how clumsy you are, Bambi.”

 Harry’s heart fluttered in his chest and his face flushed, _another nickname._

 “Let’s get going Bambi.” Louis silently took Harry’s hand and led the dazed boy out of the quaint hotel room.

 

 

**————**

 

 

Harry knew this place by instinct, the shabby stone work, failing neon sign, dirty glass windows, and the stench of stale beer.

 Temptation’s Bar and Nightclub.

 It was more of a shady pick up bar then a nightclub but no one ever questioned the title. Harry remembers his hazy nights parading around the bar, the sequenced whores clinging to his arms.

 He also remembered Niall.

 Niall was the one who always brought him here, got him drunk, and handed him women with a gigantic smile. Harry’s heart paced as his stomach curled, he never wanted to come back to this dreaded place.

 His eyes were laced with fear and tears threatened to slip, he wasn’t that person anymore. Harry had changed, he left Niall’s company and proceeded on his career in writing. Niall was a road block that he’d overcome with age.

 That didn’t explain why they were here.

 “Lou? I c-can’t go in there.” Louis’ eyes darted to Harry’s visage, they held a tinge of pity beneath his eyelashes.

 “You wanted to come with me, and I’m going in there.” Louis’ voice was stone, his face cracked with emotion as Harry trembled.

 Louis’ facade broke, “I won’t let anything happen to you.” His voice was trembling, which was beyond normal.

 Harry was slightly comforted by his words, but his mind was livid with the memories. It was as if a vault had been opened and all the dark times came flooding out.

 He was drowning in thought, suffocating on memories, and he could not escape. It was a tunnel, a whirlwind, that sucked him up and refused to let him rise.

 Alas, Harry moved along with Louis; his movements felt numb as if he was a robot.

 The steps to the old bar where broken and shattered with glass and tinted with the smell of beer. The inside of the bar was no better, the stench of sweat, alcohol, and sex filled their lungs. Louis’ face filled with disgust and hatred, Harry’s was traced with depression.

 The bar wasn’t as big as Harry had remembered, though the old metal chairs where still present, along side the raggedy old jukebox that lay useless in the corner of the black walled building. The music thumped on the walls, colors bounced with uneasiness, and a throb of bodies stood grinding in the corner.

 They looked like savages, eyes a blazed with alcohol and drugs, but Harry remembers when he used to be them.

 Louis grabbed his hand fiercely and lead him to a back booth, seemingly separate from the alcohol induced bodies. Harry sat on the torn leather and Louis draped his arm across his waist possessively.

 “Are we going to meet your business partner here?” Harry’s voice was quiet, an echo of his true self. Louis smiled and his white teeth glared, “It’s more of a surprise business meeting.”

 Louis placed a soft kiss on Harry’s lips, “You look stunning; the people here don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you.” Louis’ lips ghosted across Harry’s ear and Harry keened in submission. “So plaint, so soft…I wish I could take you, mark you up, smother your body with praise.” Louis reached forward and took Harry’s face into his hands, Harry just closed his eyes. “Please.”, Harry breathed out, his eyes filled with desperation.

 It’s as if time halted; they emerged themselves in a flash reality of right and wrong.

 Louis griped to the nape of Harry’s neck and collided their lips with passionate force. Splurges of colors erupted as they entranced themselves into one another.

 Harry was plaint as Louis bruised his lips with every touch, their tongues crashed with zeal, and their panting breathes echoed through their ears. Louis released his grip on Harry’s neck but pushed him into the wall of the booth, he cowered over him, covering him.

 Harry’s hands fumbled as he palmed Louis promonate erection, his mouth still touching the ache of Louis’ tongue.

 Louis broke from the kiss, leaving Harry’s fluffed lips that were stained with ruby. Just as Harry started to catch his breath Louis latched himself onto his neck. Louis peppered it with kisses and places a slick trail of saliva under Harry’s chin before biting into it.  Harry let out an inhuman groan and tried pitifully to find release. “So desperate for Daddy, such a little whore for me. Look how hard you are,” Louis clutched onto Harry’s groin as he let out a whimper, “my perfect little slut.”

 “A-h, I’m your slut nfgh—“ Harry sobbed as Louis groped him fiercely, his body felt like it erupted into flames.

 “Damn, that’s hot.”, a drunken groggy voice whistled in the distance.

 Louis eyes blazed red as he whipped around and spotted a stocky older man, his shirt stained and he was sporting a disgusting erection.

 “I’ll fucking cut your intestines out and feed them to you.”

 Louis lunged forward and landed a bone shattering punch to the man’s face. “You fucking disgusting pervert, don’t you ever look at my baby like that again. I’ll rip your pudgy dick from your body and stick it up your ass.” Louis smashed his foot into the man’s ribcage, he heard the snap of bones.

 The fat bloke sobbed in pain, but no one seemed to bat an eye. His eyes were fumbling with tears and he spat crimson blood.

 “Louis! Stop!” Harry reached out and grabbed Louis’ arm in protest.

Louis seethed and kicked the man once more before getting pulled away by Harry.

 Louis’ eyes were livid and he aggressively pushed Harry into the men’s restroom. “Get in the stall.” His voice was laced with aggression as he glared at Harry.

 “B-but—”

 “GET IN THE DAMN STALL!” Louis yelled and smashed his hand onto the bathroom wall, his voice echoed throughout.

 Harry sobbed and rushed into a shabby stall, he heard the click of a lock.

 Louis emerged in front of Harry, his face fierce. “Get on your fucking knees.”

 Harry trembled but obeyed his command. Louis began pull down his jeans, “You disobeyed Daddy.”

 Harry backed away, “No! Please Daddy, I’m sorry.”

 It was no use pleading, Louis’ eyes were an abyss of dark blue. “I’ll hurt you even more if you don’t do as I say.”

 Harry cried out as Louis yanked his head forward, he pulled his briefs off, his cock was a blaring red color as it stood in Harry’s face.

 “Suck Daddy off.”

 Harry shook his head but Louis had no forgiveness. He brought Harry’s mouth to his cock and pried it open.

 Louis emitted a groan as Harry cried and gave in, choking himself on Louis’ erection.

 “Fuck, look so good.” Louis fucked into Harry’s slack mouth.

 Harry gagged pitifully but took it willingly, he found himself yearning for the pain. The burn in his throat, the feeling of his mouth aching, his hair getting pulled and yanked.

 Spit trailed down Harry’s mouth as Louis took long drags in and out of his bruised lips. “You like me wrecking your pretty little mouth, don’t you.”

 Harry moaned which gave vibrations to Louis’ cock. “F-fuck, feel so good. Can’t wait to fuck your tight ass, make you mine.”

 Louis continued to use Harry’s mouth, loving the hot head surrounding him.

 Louis suddenly pulled his cock from Harry’s lips, Harry let out a pitiful whimper.

 Louis pulled Harry up from the cold tiles and pushed him against the bathroom stall, “M’gonna fuck you so hard. Pound your sweet hole until you collapse.” Louis yanked Harry’s jeans down to his ankles, “No pants, you’re just begging to get fucked.” Louis palmed Harry’s bum.

 “N-no I-I’m a virgin, please.” Harry’s voice was raspy and broken from deep throating and tears stained his cheeks.

 “Oh, I know baby. But you weren’t nice to Daddy.”

 Louis groped Harry’s perky bum and spread his cheeks, “Look at that sweet hole, just for me.”

 Harry cried out as Louis pushed a spit covered finger into his hole, jutting in and out with no mercy.

 Harry rocked his head back in defeat and moaned in despair, “Y-yes Daddy, a-ah!”

 “You want another finger, how about two?” Louis rammed three fingers into Harry’s tight heat and Harry screamed from the burn, he loved it.

 “So. Fucking. Hot.” Louis mercilessly pumped his fingers into Harry’s bum and Harry moaned, squirming from pleasure.

 He curved them, finding Harry’s prostate and pounded harder. “Daddy!” Harry howled, he keened and bucked his hips.

 “Such a cock slut aren’t you? Want me to fill you up and break you.”

 A loud pounding came from the door, “Who ‘da hell is in there! Why is ‘ta door locked, I need to take a piss mate!” A highly familiar voice called out from the door, but Louis continued to pump his fingers in Harry’s bum.

 Louis cursed, “I’ll pound your hole nice and hard when we get to the hotel. Daddy’s business has arrived.” 

Louis pulled his fingers and Harry whined, “B-but Daddy, I need you.”

 Louis sighed, “I’ll get you off, don’t worry. Just be patient.”

 He pulled up his pants and adjusted his hair, Harry followed his procedure, though his mouth and bum felt violated.

 Louis aggressively tugged the door open and a drunk guy flopped into the bathroom.

 Harry stood in shock, and a ripple of pain erupted into his heart.

 “You look familiar! Mhm I could remember that handsome face anywhere!” Niall’s voice was slurred as he stared at Louis. His eyes quickly darted to Harry and widened comically.

 “Harry! Haz, Hazzy, Dimples! How are ya, you beautiful git!” Harry just stood in place, his body felt cold.

 Niall looked between the two and then to the door. Even though he was intoxicated, he could put two and two together.

 “Ha! You finally sagged a bloke! And in the bar bathroom?! Harry the Hoe has returned!” Niall belched and smirked at the two.

 Harry stood mortified, he hadn’t heard that name in a long time. It came back with horrible memories and horrid flashbacks.

 “Don’t ever call him that.” Louis’ voice was stone and his glare was ice.

 Niall backed away with caution and looked at Louis with realization. Harry could see the blood drain from his cheeks, the drunk haze melt from his eyes as he realized who was before him.

 “I-It’s you!” Niall backed away in fear, his eyes widened.

 “Lou, p-please just leave him alone. We aren’t here for him.” Harry pleaded as he caressed Louis’ shoulder.

 He smirked at Harry and let out a low chuckle, “No, Harry. We are here for him.”

 “What in the fuck! Harry, you’re with him? You’re trying to kill me?” Niall’s eyes filled with cold tears, his face showed betrayal.

 All Harry could remember was the betrayal he felt when Niall left him alone.

 He didn’t wish that pain on anyone,

 but times are different now.

 “He isn’t trying to kill you, he doesn’t kill. I can’t say the same for me though.” 

Niall looked towards the door and made a run for it.

 Louis slammed his head against the wall and Niall crumpled to the ground, tears fresh on his face.

 “I’m sorry, please! Why are you doing this?” Niall sobbed, he was in despair and pain.

 “Because you are an inconsiderate asshole, you hurt my baby. I’m getting rid of a scumbag, the world should thank me.”

 Harry stood in limbo, “Lou, you don’t have to do this. I’m okay now, I-I have you.”

 “Stay out of this, you told me that you wouldn’t fight me, do you want another punishment?” Louis face was cold but his eyes held desperation, like a last pleading effort.

 Niall looked at him with disgust, “You touch him and I’ll kill you.”

 Louis just laughed, “Too late, you should've seen how desperate he was for it.”

 “You’re disgusting!” Niall cried tears of pain and looked at Harry in regret, “I’m so sorry I did this to you Harry.”

 “Babe, can you turn around. I don’t want you to see this.” Louis kissed Harry’s cheek.

 Tears slid silently down Harry’s cheeks as his body con caved, he turned to the corner of the bathroom and dropped to the floor, tears wrecking his body.

 “See what you did! He is in pain because of you. I want him to be happy, and all I have to do is get rid of the people that have made him miserable.”

 Niall cried, his mouth cracked and dry, his face splotched with red and snot dripping from his nose. “J-just kill me!” Niall screamed in agony, “I deserve it.”, Niall whispered in true pain.

 Louis nodded, “Finally we agree on something.”

 “I just want Harry to know that I’m sorry. I-I should of been their for you.” Niall hiccuped from the tears, “I-I always thought of you as a close friend, b-but I used you, I t-tried to hurt you be-because I was jealous. I always wanted to be just like you; pretty, kind, and intelligent.”

 Louis tsked and slipped his loyal pocket knife from his shoe.

 “I just want to know you forgive me, please, a-as my dying wish and all.” Niall wretched out a sob as he looked at Harry intently.

 Louis plunged the knife into Niall’s throat, canceling out any screams.

 Blood spurred through as Niall gasped for release, Louis continued to dig into his throat. Crimson stained Louis hands as he was splattered with Niall’s blood. He thrust a quiet, bone cracking jab into his heart and twisted it mercilessly.

 Life drained from Niall’s eyes as he gazed towards the ceiling.

 Niall’s life-less body slumped against the floor and Louis carved a bloody ‘LT’ on his forehead.

 Niall laid there, blood matted in his hair, streaks of red covering his face, neck painted crimson, and heart exposed.

 

“I forgive you, but can you ever forgive me?” Harry whispered to a dark void.

 

 

_ The true monster _

  _lies within_

  _my heart._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> such a late update! 
> 
> don't kill me ;( 
> 
> Louis has anger problems (if you didn't know)
> 
> Niall's dead 
> 
> lolz


	8. Gluttony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> probably going to hate me xx
> 
> btw: pants means underwear in England.

 

Harry felt numb as he watched the fast passing trees in the rear view mirror.

The dark night loomed over the dashboard and the soft hum of the engine was prominent in his ears.

Complete silence surrounded his brain, it fogged his conscience.

Louis’ nails tapped the wheel in a small pattern; slowly corrupting Harry’s mind with it’s repetitive motion.

“Harry.”

He didn’t respond.

“Harry.”

He didn’t want to respond.

“ _Harry_.”

He yanked himself from his faux solitude.

“What do you want.” His voice held a fake anger.

Louis’ head whipped from the road and he looked intently at Harry. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

Harry mumbled a soft, “I don’t want to talk to you at all.”

“What is your fucking problem?” Louis seethed.

Harry gave him a dark look, “You’re my problem.”

The car suddenly jerked forward as the speed exhilarated. “Shut up Harry.”

Harry smashed his hand against the dashboard, “No. You killed Niall, you murdered him in cold blood.”

Louis snorted, “Not the first time.”

“That’s not the point Louis.” Harry’s voice held agitation.

“What the hell has gotten into you? One minute you’re begging me to shove my cock up you’re a—”

“Shut up.”

“No, fuck you.” Louis turned to Harry, “You wanted my cock in your littl—”

“Watch the road Louis!”   
“Not until you admit it, you wanted my big fat cock in your tight virgin ass.”

“Never,” Harry watched the road with agitation. “Look at the road.”

“Say it and I’ll look at the road.”

“I won’t.”

Louis sped up, coming closer to a turning section.

“Admit it.”

Harry’s eyes widened, “Pay attention!”

“Say it, you want my cock.”

“Louis!”

“You wanted me to fuck you hard and rough. Tear your little hole apart, wanted me to make you cum all over yourself and beg for more. You want me to fu—”

“LOUIS!” The turning section got closer, there was no railing to stop them from going off-road.

“Tell me you want my cock. Tell me you want it buried deep inside you. That you’re wet for it, that you’d beg on your knees fo—”

Harry’s heart paced as he saw the close impending death before him.

“I WANT YOUR DICK INSIDE ME!” He screamed out, tears caressed his cheeks.

Louis turned the car swiftly and exited the highway.

“That’s much better.” Louis smiled.

“I hate you.” Harry seethed.

“You don’t hate me, you could never hate me.”

Harry hated to admit that he was right.

“Leave me alone.” Harry whispered.

“I can’t leave you alone.”

“Why? Just tell me why?” Harry gasped out desperately

Louis brushed a hand through his hair, “I love you, that’s why.”

Harry’s saw red, “You sure talk some shit.”

“I fucking love you! That’s why I can’t leave you asshole! You and I, we aren’t supposed to be a thing. I kill everyone who goes near me! I killed my family! I killed your friend, your ex, yo-your family…”

Louis’ voice broke and tears broke through his strong demeanor.

“You killed my p-parents, my sister?”

“Yes.”

Harry couldn’t find any emotions to express. He couldn’t find it in his heart to express any pain, he was too emotionally drained.

“Why?” Harry called out unemotionally.

“I can’t—”

“ _Tell me_.”

“Because I have to take care of you!” Louis slammed his fist into the wheel and swerved onto the side of the road. The car’s engined stopped and Louis slipped onto the wheel in a crying mess.

“T-They hurt you, they all did.” Louis whispered, “I just wanted to make it stop, wanted to make you feel loved.”

“That’s why you killed Niall? Because he hurt me?”

“Yes.”

“My family?”

“Yes.”

“Taylor?”

Louis stayed silent.

“Louis, is that why you killed Taylor?” Harry placed his hand onto his back.

“N-no.” Louis sat back up, his eyes blood shot. “I killed her because I had too.”

Harry shook his head, “You didn’t have too.”

“You don’t understand, I had too. I owed him, I had to kill her.” Louis’ hands shook frantically.

“Who is ‘him’? Louis, please, I just want to help you.” Harry’s face was hot, his throat burned.

Louis shook his head, “Y-you can’t help me. It’s too late.”

“Please, just tell me who he is?”

“He saved me once, I owed him something. He told me about you, told me about that girl and how she wanted to get back together with you. Said that he couldn’t have that, told me to get rid of her.”

“What? L-Louis.”

“I didn’t mean to get obsessed w-with you but he showed me your work. How you wrote about me, I-I became crazy over you. He knew about that a-and he told me I could have you i-if I just did something for him. I just wanted to be happy Harry.” Louis voice broke and he gripped onto Harry’s shirt, “I just wanted you to love me.”

“Baby.”

“No, H-Harry. He told me that once I had you, on-once I broke you, that I would get a new life; that I could start all over. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. I killed all those people for him b-but I started to want it. I wanted to kill them, so I k-killed your family, because I wanted too!”

Harry stared down at this broken boy, his tears stained his shirt, he looked ghostly beautiful.

“Who is he?”

“I can’t say.”

“He’s your ‘business partner’ isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

They sat in silence, Harry petted his hair as the rushing cars passed by.

“We’re okay, we’re going to be okay.”

They didn’t believe it.

  
*

  
Harry tapped his feet against the soft carpet.

He sat on the hotel bed in his own reality.

He tried to wrap his mind around Louis’ murders, he wanted to understand him.

He wanted to love him.

Harry wanted to find all that pain that scorned and burned Louis’ body and take it all away.

He wanted to make him feel loved.

“Harry? Are you okay?” Louis whispered from the bedpost, he leaned forward and brushed through Harry’s hair.

Harry turned and faced him, “I want you to make love to me.”

Louis backed away, “No Harry, not now. W-We need time.”

Harry crawled towards him and laid between his legs, “I need you inside me.”

He kissed the scruff on his chin and leaned forward nibbling on his ear, “Take me.”

He could feel Louis fill up beneath him so he cupped his crotch, “Make me yours.”, he whispered.

Louis’ eyes became cloudy, “You want this?” He brushed his hand against Harry’s cheek. His hair was unruly, eyes blazing green.

“Yes.”

Louis captured his lips with his own, the lighting blazed his veins, it shook him. Their hands tangled into each others clothes, they fumbled as they undressed one another.

The air was heavy, the smell of sweat and arousal filled their airways. The bed creaked as they tumbled forward, their hands caressed one another. Their heart beats quickened as their tongues tangled.

Louis broke off the kiss and Harry let out a broken whimper, “Let me make you feel good.”

He slowly kissed down Harry’s naked chest.

Louis slowly began to suck on Harry’s nipples, taking his time as he twisted the other one. His tongue lapped around the perky nipple as Harry bit his lip, trying to contain his moans.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Louis whispered as he pecked Harry’s lips.

Louis slowly slid is free hand down Harry’s chest, slowly sinking into his tight black pants.

Louis kissed his puffed nipples as he stroked Harry’s thick cock. “L-Louis. Don’t tease please.”

Louis snorted, “Mmm, I’m going to tease you as long as I want.” He bit down on Harry’s neck, slowly licking and kissing it.

Harry muffled a moan as Louis stroked him faster. He released himself from Harry’s neck with a pop, leaving a wet dark mark across his skin.

“Aren’t you pretty?”

Sweat collected on Harry’s forehead as his hair was matted down, his eyes were blown out, and his face was blotchy red.

“Look so fucked out and I haven’t even fucked you yet.” Louis whispered as he shifted down and mouthed Harry’s clothed cock.

“L-Louis.”

“It’s Daddy too you.”

Harry threw his head back with a gasp as his cock sprung free from containment. It was bright red to the tip, the veins bulged, as it stood erect hard and painful.

“Poor baby, so hard but so pretty.” Louis pressed a small kiss to the head of his cock.

Harry moaned out, “Daddy!”

Louis rubbed his cheek against his cock, “Yes baby?”

“Please t-taste me, Daddy.”

“With pleasure baby.” Louis licked a thick strip along the side of his cock and took him into his mouth.

Louis throat burned from the stretch but he yearned for the pain. He hummed on Harry’s cock, taking him deeper as Harry cried out in pleasure. Louis felt the pulse of his veins, the smell of salt and sweat filled his nose.

He bobbed repeatedly, Harry gripped Louis’ hair and yanked him down.

Louis gagged on his cock and pulled off.

“M’sorry Daddy, I-I didn’t me—”

“Do it again.” Louis’ lips were bright pink, his voice rough.

“W-What?”

“Fuck my mouth baby.”

Harry gripped Louis’ hair once more and yanked him down on his cock. He thrusted his hips upwards as he fucked into Louis’ tight warm mouth. Louis’ hummed on his cock as he palmed himself, Harry groaned and fucked faster.

“Daddy, y-you feel so good. You make me feel so good.”

Harry moved Louis fringe from his eyes as Louis looked up at him. His eyes were blazing and captivating, his mouth looked beautiful stretched onto Harry’s cock.

Louis moaned on Harry’s cock causing Harry to gasp out in pleasure. Spit dropped from Louis’ chin as he continued to deep throat him.

“Daddy I’m gonna c—”

Louis pulled off with a pop and wiped of spit from his chin.

“Why did you stop Daddy?” Harry whimpered. He looked totally gone, his lips a bright shade of red, his skin pale, and his neck and chest littered with hickey’s of red and purple.

“Thought you wanted me to fuck you, baby?” Louis’ whispered as he groped Harry’s ass.

Harry’s face got redder and his eyes darkened, “Y-Yes please Daddy.”

Louis rubbed Harry’s thighs, “Can you turn over baby?”

Harry flipped over pliantly, his limbs flourished with an adorable awkwardness.

Louis kissed his shoulder, “Hands and knees.”

Harry’s hands shook as he followed Louis’ order.

“God, you are beautiful, and all mine.” Louis whispered as he spread Harry’s legs.

Harry whimpered as the cold air hit his hole.

“I really love you.” Louis presses a soft kiss against his hole.

Harry gasped, “I-I”

“Wait a minute baby, need to get the lube and condom.”

“No, Daddy I don’t w-want a condom.” Harry gasped out.

“Harry, it’s your first time, need to be safe.”

“I can’t get pregnant and I’m clean, of course. Un-unless you aren’t?”

Louis scoffed, “You’ve had my dick in your throat, think you would know sweetheart.”

Harry smiled into the bed, “Please?”

Louis sighed, “Okay baby, but only because I want this to be special.”

Louis shuffled off the bed and stumbled over to his bag. He scrambled into it in a hurry, taking out a half used bottle of lube.

Harry looked at it with a questioning brow.

“What? A murderer gets lonely sometimes too.”

Harry snorted as Louis got back on the bed and uncapped the lube.

“I see you're still open from my fingers, hm?”

Harry’s breath hitched, “Y-yes Daddy. Please just take me.”

Louis kissed him behind his ear, “Gonna take my cock like a good boy.”

Louis applied a generous amount of lube to his hand and stroked his cock with it. Once he was satisfied with the amount he rubbed the left over lube off his hand and placed both hands on Harry’s hips.

“M’gonna go slow. Make this good for you.” Louis whispered earnestly.

Harry nodded eagerly his breath uneven.

Louis slowly pushed his hips forward as the head of his member slowly entered Harry. The contact made Harry’s back tense as Louis slowly pushed in further. His tight heat slowly envelope Louis’ cock and Louis grunted in pleasure.

Louis felt the urge to thrust forward, to take all of Harry and just use him.

But he wouldn’t.

He would go slow, let Harry’s first time be special.

Harry hissed in pain as Louis bottomed out, the stretch burned him as his muscles ached.

“Babe, do you want me to stop?” Louis asked painstakingly.

Harry shook his head feverishly, “N-No! Just wait, need to get comfortable.”

Louis suppressed himself as he placed soft kisses to Harry’s spine. The feeling of his tight heat surrounding him was making him go insane, but he’d wait till the end of time if he had too.

Harry let out a soft whimper as pleasure shook through his body, his muscles burned, his thighs ached, but he wanted more.

“Lo-Louis I’m ready.” Harry hanged his head down with pleasure as the sweet feeling of being stretched coursed through his body.

Louis gave Harry’s cock a soft tug, “You sure Bambi?”

“Yes Louis, move god damn i—”

Louis hips bucked forward as he keened into Harry’s demands. Harry let out a faint gasp as the sound of their slapping skin echoed the walls.

Harry felt Louis deep inside him, pounding against his inner walls. The burn from the stretch was delightfully painful as Louis twisted his hips, desperate to find Harry’s prostate.

“Oh- _God_!” Harry screamed out when Louis hit his prostate dead on. He clenched onto the smaller man’s cock, making him groan in ecstasy.

Louis dug his fingernails deeper into Harry’s hips, feeling the soft flesh beneath him.

“Such a dirty little whore, letting me fuck you like this.” Louis seethed.

“I-I” Harry babbled incoherently as he was fucked further into the mattress; tears strained his eyes in undeniable pleasure.

“You like being fucked, hm? Like having your hole stretched and open for me?” Louis whispered as he nibbled on his ear, thrusting faster into his hole.

“Ye-es.” Harry whispered out brokenly.

Louis released one of his hands grip on Harry’s hip and took his cock into his hand, stroking it mercilessly.

“ _Say it louder_. Tell the whole world who gets to fuck you like this.”

“Daddy!” Harry screamed, his lungs burned with satisfaction and tears slipped down his visage.

“That’s right baby, only I can see you like this. So desperate to cum, bet you could cum just from my cock, could you do that baby?”

Harry shook his head, “N-No Daddy need to cum now, want too. Please.”

Louis smirked as he bucked into him further, sweat dripping from his forehead onto Harry’s porcelain skin.

“Beg for it.”

Harry gasped as Louis’ hips stuttered, “Please Daddy, I want to cum, wanna make a mess.” his head tilted in defeat, “Want you to come inside me.”

Louis moaned feverishly, “Bet you’d look so nice filled with my seed.”

“Ah—y-yes, all f-for you.”

Harry needed release, a tight and warm tug hit his lower abdomen, his cock was red and painful.

Louis began to jerk Harry’s cock in a messy fashion. He let his thumb slide across Harry’s slit, pre-cum dribbling out.

“Daddy Daddy _Daddy_!” Harry screamed out in pleasure as he shot his white load across his stomach.

Louis continued to pound into Harry’s sensitive hole sending ripples down his spine. Harry cried out in a haze of pleasure and pain.

“M’gonna cum all over your tight hole, so good for me.” Louis whimpered out as he lost his rhythm. His hips stuttered as he felt Harry clench around him in a orgasmic haze.

“My angel.” Louis whispered as he pulled out, Harry whimpered at the loss.

Louis began jerking himself, by the second stroke he came with a blinding light as ribbons of white semen stained Harry’s skin. It draped down his back, and across his vandalized hole.

Louis’ eyes held tears as he watched Harry lay down tiredly onto the mattress.

“I love you Louis.” Harry giggled out.

Louis placed his hand over his mouth, tears stained his visage as he tried to contain his sobs.

He picked up the lamp on the night stand and held it between his hands.

“You don’t love me, please don’t love me.” Louis whispered.

“No, I love you. I love you so much, you deserve the wo-o-orld.” Harry mumbled, extending his o’s.

“I love you too, believe me, I do.”

Louis raised the lamp and smashed it against Harry’s head.

Even though it was dark,

Harry saw white.

  
*

  
It was a load banging noise, it washed through the desolate room.

_“OPEN UP!”_

No one answered.

The door broke down with a load cracking noise, four agents stumbled into the room with red in their eyes.

It was when they saw Harry that Liam broke into a quiet sob.

The other agents stood in shock at the figure before them, Liam quickly rushed to his aid.

He checked his pulse.

It was beating.

One agent scoped the rest of the hotel,

it was empty.

“We need to call an ambulance, immediately.” A short haired blonde said hurriedly as he dialed.

Liam stood still, he didn’t want to face the facts,

he failed.

“I didn’t get to him in time, I-I didn’t save him.”

The blonde put a comforting hand on his shoulders, “We don’t know the full story, h-he could be okay. It might not be what it looks lik—”

“What the hell does this look like to you!” Liam screamed in a rage, “Because too me, it looks like he was violated, raped, used, abused, and tormented.”

“Liam.” The woman whispered, tears shimmering her sapphire eyes, “It isn’t your fault.”

_Then why did it feel like it?_

  
*

  
The monotone beeping of the monitor echoed in Harry’s brain.

His bones ached, his neck hurt, and his head felt like hell.

Harry’s eyes shot open with a ferocity, he pulled at his arms but he couldn’t get free.

“LOUIS!” He screamed in fear, “ _Louis!_ Help p-please!” He broke into hysterics.

He was in a hospital, he knew that. He recognized the sterile wallpaper, the horrible stench of metal.

The door busted open and a team of nurses rushed in.

They looked like demons to him.

“ _No!_ Get away from me! Wh-where is he! Please l-let me go!” His face screamed red, his eyes frantic. Veins bulged out of his neck as he howled and tears watered his countenance.

“Sir, calm down. It’s going to be okay, You are safe.” A nurse urged, her face was tense and strained.

Harry shook his head feverishly, “No! What did you do to him!”

He pulled out his cords and tried to strangle the nurses containing him.

“Sir!”

Next thing he knew there was a syringe in his arm.

The world was fading.

_Why is it always fading?_

  
*

  
“Harry, the doctor said you were ready to communicate; but first, do you have any questions?”

Harry’s face was cold, his fingertips felt cold.

“How many days has it been?” His voice didn’t sound like his own.

Liam looked at him with pity, “You’ve been in an unconscious state for four days, and three days of recovery.”

“A week,” Harry felt dizzy and distracted, “—how did I get here?”

“We um, found you in a hotel room. An anonymous tip was put in and we followed the tracks, hoping it would lead to L.T”

Harry’s eyes shot open, “Where is he?”

Liam placed a his hand on Harry’s, “He can’t hurt you anymore, it’s okay.”

Harry gave him a confused look, “What are you talking about? He loves me.”

Liam looked taken back, his eyes widened, “ _No Harry_ , he doesn’t love you. He is a monster.”

Harry snatched his hand away, “Don’t talk about him like that! You don’t know about us, you don’t know the things we’ve done. He _told me_ he loves me.”

“He manipulated you! Kidnapped you and used you!” Liam was devastated at the mental state of the curly lad.

“He never used me!” Harry screamed.

“L.T raped you! I-I saw your body, the bruises, his semen on your skin.”

“He never raped me, I _begged_ him to fuck me. I wanted it! I love him!” Harry retched out painfully, the veins in his arms were prominent, and his eyes red.

“The rape kit tested positive Harry. I’m sorry, he doesn’t love you.” Liam pleaded desperately.

“Your rape kit lies then, I loved every second of it.” Harry looked demonic, the way he glared, his voice thick, his eyes darkened and a smirk graced his lips, “Do you want to know what he did to me? The truth?”

Liam took this as a sign of realization, “It would help us figure out allegations against him once he is caught.”

Harry’s smirk deepened, “Okay Officer, you asked after all.” He slowly began to show a manic grin, “First, he sucked my nipples. He made them hard, blistering, and wet. He groped me and snogged me rough. I kept screaming for more, I begged for him to taste me. He listened, of course, and sucked me off. He does this thing with his tongue that is to die for. He looked so pretty sucking me off and he let me fuck his mouth. He flipped me over and fucked me raw. He took my virginity and I wanted it so bad. I was a bumbling mess as he whispered how much of a slut I was as he pounded my tight virgin hole. He then pulled out and came all over me, marking me up, not before he gave me a heart-stopping orgasm.”

Liam looked sick as his face paled with every word.

“Want more details hm?” Harry glared.

Liam gave a stolid face, he wanted to keep strong for him. He wanted to help Harry and arguing with him won’t solve anything.

“What happened after that?”

Harry bursted into a giggling mess, he looked absolutely psychotic.

“I told him I loved him, of course like the gentleman he is, he denied that I did but I proved him wrong. He said ‘I love you too, believe me, I do.’ and—and—um.” Harry stumbled over his words trying to regain his memory.

“You don’t remember do you?” Liam looked pitiful.

Harry felt like crying, “N-No.”

“You felt pain in the back of your head, didn’t you?”

Harry nodded.

“He knocked you unconscious with a lamp Harry.”

Harry glared at him, “H-How dare you accuse him of that! He would never.”

“He did, you had to have stitches. That’s why you were in pain when you first woke up. He knocked you out after he had sex with you, he left you there and got the hell out of that hotel.”

Tears dribbled down Harry’s face, “Liar!”, he called out with a broken voice that sounded more like a whisper.

“The doctor diagnosed you with Stockholm Syndrome, but you can recover, I believe in you.”

“I can’t recover from this you idiot, I-I love him. I can’t stop thinking about him and being with him. I jus-just want to be with him.”

Liam shook his head solemnly as he exited Harry’s room. He heard Harry’s faint whisper, “He’ll come back for me. He’ll come back.”

“Excuse me, Dr. Sheeran?” Liam proceeded to run up to Harry’s doctor.

The ginger man smiled at him, “What do you need Officer Payne?”

“Do you think Styles will be able to give the sketch artist a proper identity to L.T?”

The doctor shook his head sadly, “He isn’t stable enough. He still believes he has to protect L.T because he still believes he loves him.”

Liam nodded, “What can we do?”

“All we can do is surround him by family and friends.”

Liam gave a sad expression, “He doesn’t have any anymore, he’s all alone.”

Dr. Sheeran shook his head, “He still has one left.”

_If only that were true._

  
*

  
“I don’t need you to be in the same room with me Officer, really. I’m his publisher, I think I can handle him sweetheart.”

Liam stuttered at the beautiful man before him, “I-I okay sure, I mean, if you need anything I’ll be outside.”

Zayn rolled his eyes but entered the room none the less.

He put on an enormous grin, “Harry! How's my little writer doing?”

Harry sat there with a ghostly expression, “Z-Zayn?”

“The one and only!” Zayn twirled around with a cheshire grin across his visage.

“I haven’t seen you in forever, I thought that um—”

“That I was killed, yeah, like I’d ever let that happen.” Zayn waved his hand, dismissing him.

“No, just thought you’d given up on me is all.”

Zayn let out an exaggerated gasp, “Why would I ever give up on you? You’re my star pupil! My golden ticket!”

Harry awkwardly smiled, “Why are you h-here?”

“I can’t check up on my starving writer? By the way, did you finish your manuscript?”

Harry gave him a quizzical look, “I’ve been busy, as you can tell. I-I didn’t have time.”

Zayn’s smile widened, “Good!”

Harry looked at him in confusion.

“Scrap that story Haz. Make a new one! Hell, make an autobiography! You have enough trauma to write a full-fledged trilogy if you wanted.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“You can’t see it Harry? Because I can, our names up in lights as you write your thrilling recovery from being kidnapped and abused by your inspiration! We’ll sell millions of copies worldwide!”

Harry’s eyes blazed, “I would never do that, what happened to me was no tragedy. It was love, and I don’t want to use him to get money.”

“You had no problem doing it before.” Zayn snorted.

“Those murders were based off of him, not actually about him.”

“Pish-posh, you’re going to do it.”

Harry shook his head, “You can’t make me.”

Zayn bursted into a fit of giggles, “Oh little naive boy.” He pulled up a desk chair and placed it next to Harry’s bedside.

“Louis is so small brained sometimes.”

Harry’s blood ran cold, “How do yo—”

“Know L.T’s identity?” Zayn smiled, “I knew all along love.”

“W-What? Ho—”

Zayn cut him off once more, “Silence little lamb, let me tell you a story about a broken boy and a kind man.”

“I met Louis when he was 17, he was lost and insane. He wanted out of existence and out of life, almost tried to off himself that one. I was making my daily running when I spotted this boy trying to jump off a bridge. I caught that bugger right on time, duh. He was crazy mate, yelling incoherently about trying to murder his family and what not. I was taken back at first but I felt generous that day, I just hooked up with the one and only medical doctor in that god forsaken town and was having a good day. I told him I would help him, I would erase him from existence. One thing led to another and I destroyed all records of him. He was gone and I felt like a great person, after all, it did help me in the future.”

Harry was bubbling with confusion, his brain reeled with answers. “Your Louis’ business partner?”

“Bingo! Ten points to Gryffindor!” Zayn laughed in glee.

“That’s where you came into play. I had you wrapped around my finger, you were partying, getting up an image, it was wonderful. Your lovely books about L.T sweetened the deal. I always kept tabs on that boy, knowing that I’d need him one way or another. Your writing started to get bland, your playboy image was wearing off, and that little girl Taylor wanted to get back together with you. I knew she would ruin it, she’d make you all lovey dovey and that was the last thing I needed, so I called Louis. Told him to do me a big favor and kill the bitch, which he did delightfully.”

Zayn clapped his hands in happiness. “Now getting to the _real_ juicy parts.”

“It was not my plan for him to become obsessed with you. Really, it didn’t even cross my mind but when Louis said he wanted you I just couldn’t miss the opportunity at hand. So we made a deal, he ruins your life for me and he gets to have his way with you. Simple plan, but when has Louis ever followed the rules? He made a mess, killing that detective? Ugh, what an idiot. Plus that grocery girl! He doesn’t know how much security footage I had to burn for him to do all those things.”

Zayn got up and began to prance around, “I told him to kill Niall, meh. He didn’t care about the guy until I told him about your past then he was all on board. But alas, he had to go and kill your family, I also did not plan that by the way. But it was genius! He destroyed a bad memory and made it worse! This was going to be perfect for your image.”

Zayn stopped moving.

“Then he had to go and catch stupid feelings.”

“I gave him one chance and then it was over. This bullshit was going on for way to long. So I made another deal, if he deflowered you and left he would receive a new identity and a one-way trip to America. A clean slate, per say. It took some convincing but it worked pretty well, though I called the cops just in case he backed out, pity that it worked.”

Harry didn’t want to believe it, his insides howled, his eyes burned. “Why! Why would you do this to me!”

Zayn gave him a flabbergasted look, “Really? You should be thanking me! You are more famous than the Kardashians now! Imagine all the book tours, interviews, charities, galas, movie deals, and so much more! We are going to be unstoppable.”

“I’ll never do it, I won’t.” Harry seethed, all he could see was red but all he felt was blue.

Zayn sighed, “Oh please,” he leaned over Harry’s bed, his eyes beaded and teeth bared, “Unless you want Louis arrested and put to death I suggest you do it.”

No matter what pain that man may have caused him, Harry couldn’t bring himself to even think of that possibility. He was impossibly in love with him, he wanted to die.

“Y-You wouldn’t.”

“Oh sweetheart, I so would.”

Harry whimpered as tears fell onto the bed sheets.

 

_Death would be a sweeter release._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing to say but sorry for the delay ;)


	9. The Calvary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes through the trials of depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever since I've uploaded and I'm sorry, I've had major writer's block and it's been killing me. What I do want to say though is to remind you guys that I do NOT support this kind of relationship in this story. It is NOT healthy and you should NOT look for this in any relationship. This is manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship. 
> 
> \- this chapter is very dialogue heavy -
> 
> Please enjoy xx

  


“Harry, do you know where you are?”, it was the same man asking Harry the same questions for the past three weeks. It was a constant repeat in his head, he was going through the motions again.

“Yes, I’m in the Doncaster Psychiatric Ward.” Harry’s voice croaked, his eyes were shifting around the room.

His white uniform clashed with his surroundings. The bright white looked out of place in the dark room, the windowless and cold atmosphere was suffocating.

The man rolled his shoulders back. “That’s good, do you know why you’re here?”

“Because you all think I’m crazy.”

“No, Harry, we don’t think you’re crazy.” The man’s tone softened, but Harry didn’t want pity.

Harry thrashed his body, his chain links made a horrible clanking sound as they hit the table,

“Then why am I here!” Harry screamed, “Why!”

The man calmly placed his hand on Harry’s, Harry pulled back fiercely, “You need help, but you aren’t crazy.”

“I don’t need help.” Harry seethed, “I’m fine.”

“No, you aren’t, you have mental damage from your capture. But we can help you, that’s all we want to do.”

“Don’t call him that!” Harry cried, hot tears threatening to fall, “D-Don’t call him that.” His voice fell into a broken whisper.

The man’s eyes widened, of course, this reaction was common with Stockholm Syndrome patients, but never this severe.

“What do you want me to call him?”

“Don’t call him anything, don’t talk about him.”

The suited man pressed on. “Do you not want to talk about him?”

Harry’s chest heaved. “I don’t want you to talk about him. I don’t want anyone too.”

“Why is that?”   
So many questions, they always asked so many questions.

“He deserves respect. He deserves better than being talked about by people like you.”

“He’s a murderer, Harry. You of all people should know that.”

Harry’s fist collided with the table. “I’m not stupid, I know that he did!”, he breathed trying to calm himself down.

“I know what he did. But he isn’t a bad person, he loves me.”

The man’s heart pained at Harry’s testimony. “People like him are incapable of love.”

“You don’t know shit, none of you do,” Harry spit.

“I’m a professional therapist, and all the people here trying to help you are professionals as well. We know what we’re talking about, we’ve seen cases like this before. We’ve helped people like you, you aren’t alone.”

“I have L.T, I’m never alone.”

“He isn’t coming back, Harry. You’re okay, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

Harry thrashed his chains again, which were attached to his chair, “He never hurt me.”

The man ran his fingers through his black hair.

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” He whispered quietly as he stood up and exited the room, leaving Harry alone once again.

“It’s okay, Brendon. It happens to us too.” Doctor Sheeran patted the suited man, Brendon, on the back.

“How long do you think he’ll be like this?” Brendon asked.

Ed looked at him sadly, “I can’t say I know, we can only hope he get’s better.”

Brendon aggressively slammed the closest wall with his fist. “What monster could do this to someone?” He yelled furiously.

Ed placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Don’t let it get to you.”

“How can it not get to me? He’s broken, Ed.” Brendon pleaded.   
“I know, but we have to help him understand, that’s our job,” Ed replied calmly, being the voice of reason.

Brendon gave a weak smile, “You always know what to say.”

“I mean my amazing looks could only get me so far in life, had to pick up another skill.”

Brendon chuckled and gave him a playful punch to the shoulder, “Shut up, dork.”

Ed smiled. “I should go inform Payne of Harry’s condition.”

Brendon nodded. “I’ll take Harry to his room, I think he’s had enough right now.”

“Just be careful with him, okay? He can get a little agitated out in open space.”

“I know, Ed. I’ve got it under control, you don’t need to worry.”

Ed sighed. “All I do is worry.”

  
*

  
“So, when do you think Harry will be up and ready to start writing again?”

Liam gave him an incredulous look. “How could you say something like that? He’s in a very bad state, I wouldn’t pressure him into doing anything at the moment.”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “As his publisher, I need to know. I get that he’s in pain, or whatever, but that is prime material for writing. He is probably bleeding with inspiration, how can I pass up this opportunity?”

“For a friend, you sure aren’t concerned about his well-being.” Liam huffed.

Zayn sighed. “Sweetheart, of course, I care about his well-being. I care about his career, and the future ahead of him. Hell, Harry could have the whole world if he just did one little interview!”

“So you care more about the money than his own feelings?”

“His feelings make money, they go hand in hand.” Zayn dismissed.

“That isn’t what a friend should be concerned about. You should be trying to help him recover, not wanting him to make you money.”

“I’m not his friend, I’m his publisher. Hell, I’m practically his agent. He writes I edit and give my input and I make sure he stays on track. When he listens to me, it makes him money, and when he makes money so do I. That’s how it works, Liam. I’m trying to do my job, and you should be doing yours too. Your job isn’t watching over Harry like a guard dog, it’s capturing the man who did this to him, am I not correct? I can’t do my job if you don’t do yours.”

Zayn’s eyes were dark, his voice was menacing and demanding as he jabbed a finger into Liam’s chest.

“Are you telling me how to do my job?” Liam growled.

Zayn chuckled. “Why yes, you insignificant idiot, I am. Do your job, and stay out of my way.”

Liam couldn’t believe that this was the same man he’d met at the hospital.

“That sounds like a threat, Malik.”

Zayn smirked. “That’s because it is a threat.”

Zayn slowly walked closer. “I can tear your world apart, little cop, don’t test me. Make sure you get your priorities straight.”

Liam showed a stoic expression but his mind was racing.

“Get out of here, Malik.”

Zayn smirked again, “Your wish is my command.”

As Liam watched him walk out of his office he wondered how many people had manipulated Harry in his life.

Did he ever have a true friend? Did anyone actually care about him in the right way?

He had a sick feeling that the answer to his questions was no.

  
*

  
Harry strummed his fingers across the metal bars of his bed.

He didn’t know how to feel.

Being locked away in a crazy ward while people prod your brain for answers and claim that they want to help you can take its toll.

Harry didn’t believe any of them.

They just wanted to find Louis, that’s all any of them want. If they get Louis, they’ll immediately throw Harry out and give him to Zayn.

Fuck, Harry rather be stuck in the loony bin than anywhere near Zayn.

The thought of Zayn pains Harry. The one person he trusted more than anything didn’t give a shit about him.

Maybe Harry should be used to that by now. No one cares, no one ever cared.

Expect Louis, perhaps.

Harry’s mind always reflected on Louis. Every time he closed his eyes he would have vivid images of Louis in his mind. His tan skin was imprinted in Harry’s memory. Sometimes in the night he would have dreams about him.

Most of them were nightmares.

Nightmares of Louis coming back and screaming at him. Telling him he was useless, about how Louis could never love someone as pitiful as him.

He woke up screaming most of the time. Harry’s cheeks would be soaked in tears that he didn’t even know he shed.

He always felt sick when he thought of Louis.

A part of Harry’s brain wanted to reject all the pain Louis gave him. A part of him wanted to scream and kick and just give up on everything.

But then he remembers Louis’ touch.  
  
The way Louis held him in his embrace, the soft touch of his lips, and the warmth from his breath. He remembers how Louis made love to him that night, how happy he felt. How he had never been happier in his whole life.

If he could go back and erase everything Louis did to him so that he couldn’t feel so much pain, he wouldn’t.

No matter how much ache Harry felt he would never erase Louis’ touch. Harry’s face began to crumble at the thought of Louis touching him again. He would give anything just to feel him again, to see him smile, and to be in his atmosphere.

To Harry, this was true love.

The utter pain and devotion for someone till insanity.

He wouldn’t let Zayn hurt Louis, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him.

And for that, he’d suffer anything.

So he looked up to the grey ceiling with a smile on his face.

It was going to be hell.

But he’d do it over again in a heartbeat.

  
*

  
Liam had been standing outside Harry’s containment room for thirty minutes, just watching. He didn’t know what to say or what to even do.

He came over an hour after his run in with Zayn. He wasn’t getting any closer to finding L.T and whether he liked it or not Harry is the only person who could give him answers.

He took a deep breath as he slid his key card through the door.

It creaked open slowly and he got a full look at Harry’s state.

He looked pitiful, to say the least. His eyes were droopy, his hair matted, and his skin looked translucent as he glared at Liam. It made Liam’s heartache at how battered he looked.

“What do you want?” Harry croaked. His cuff links clattered as he moved his arms to position himself.

Liam quietly walked across the room and scooted a small chair closer to Harry’s bedside in which he sat down.

“I wanted to check up on you,” Liam muttered as he painfully tried not to look him in the eyes.

Harry snorted, “What do you really want? Cut the ‘I care about you’ bullshit. I’ve had enough of that in here.”

Liam sighed and shifted closer to Harry, “I do care about you, it’s not bullshit. It’s my fault you’re in here. I should have found you faster, hell, L.T shouldn’t have gotten to you in the first place.”

“I’m glad you suck at your job then. L.T is the best thing to ever happen to me,” Harry grumbled.

Liam let out a sad chuckle. “I still don’t understand what you see in him.”

Harry sat up with a smile on his face on the subject of Louis. “Are you in a relationship, Liam?”

“Yes, um, I have a fiance. She’s been with me for most of my life,” Liam’s face was flustered.

“And do you love her?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t be marrying her if I didn’t,” Liam twiddled his thumbs silently thinking to himself.

“Multiply that by twenty and that’s how I feel about L.T,” Harry stated with a starry look on his face.

Liam gave him an aggravated look, “But why? What did he do to deserve your love?”

“He cares about me. He helped me and he understands me. No one else does, no one else but him. I’ve never felt safe in my life and L.T gave me that sense of security. He’s been my sanctuary of safety before I even met him. Ever since I started writing about him I’ve felt this connection. It’s like we are the same person, his pain mimics mine.”

Liam tensed, “What did he do specifically that stood out to you? That made you believe he loved you?”

Harry growled, “I don’t believe he loves me, I know he does. Learn the difference.”

“Harry,” Liam sighed. “Don’t be like this. I just want to understand you.”

“You’ll never understand me, okay? So just give up. People like you don’t get it. You see me as a charity case, your next fucking paycheck. I don’t have time for this.”

“Looking around I’d say you have all the time in the world,” Liam joked, “but Harry, I do care for you. You aren’t a paycheck, I see you as my friend.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “We aren’t friends. I despise you, all those times you bothered me at my flat accusing me of murder. You feel bad for me, admit it! I’m your failure in human form. Every mistake you ever made on L.T’s case is embodied in me.”

“I was captivated by you, Harry. You were always putting on this facade of annoyance. Like you were better than everyone else but I knew you felt the exact opposite. You hate yourself, Harry. You blame yourself for everything that went wrong in your childhood and with your friendships. You beat yourself up every day about things that aren’t even your fault.” Liam sighed, “...and that’s the one thing that L.T got right with you.”

Harry stared at him, “What do you mean?”

“L.T was killing everyone who ruined your life, besides two other victims. Everyone who contributed to the way you are today,” Liam looked puzzled for a moment, “Except for your publisher, Malik. Which is the only part that confuses me. Why is Malik left alone?”

Harry wanted to laugh at Liam for being so blind. But he knew that if Zayn was caught he’d turn in Louis.

Harry couldn’t let them find Louis.

“Because he didn’t damage my life, I guess. Zayn helped me get on my feet, L.T appreciated him.”

Liam lifted his brow, “Maybe that’s it,” but he didn’t sound convinced.

A long period of awkward silence settled between the two. Harry looked at the ceiling with a blank expression on his face while Liam looked at his feet.

“Hey, Harry, can I ask you a personal question?” Liam’s voice was soft as if he was telling him a secret.

“You’ve been asking personal questions this whole time,” Harry rolled his eyes.

Liam groaned, “I want personal advice, okay? I have questions that I think you can clear up for me.”

Harry’s eyebrows rose, “You’re asking me for advice? I’m the one in the loony bin here.”

“I’m trying to connect with you here. If you don’t want to help me that’s fine.”

Harry groaned, “I’ll help you, just don’t try to ‘connect’ with me ever again.”

Liam smiled slightly, “I just wanted to know the moment you knew you were in love with L.T. Was there a spark? Was it some epiphany moment?”

“How does this pertain to your personal life?” Harry questioned.

“I want to compare it to my feelings,” Liam stated soundly.

Harry still looked unconvinced but continued none the less, “Okay, well I can’t say that it was a specific moment that I knew I was in love. It was moreover a combination of many moments put all together. I thought about my future, I tried to envision my life without him and I couldn’t imagine it. The way he touched me and spoke to me entranced me, it just pulled me under until I couldn’t breathe. And after I felt the rush of drowning I never wanted to come up for air.”

Liam gazed into the emerald eyes, “I feel the same way.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up, “About your fiance? You understand me then, why I won’t give him up, why I can’t.”

Liam looked sullen, “No, I don’t feel that with my fiance. I-I feel that with you.”

Harry shook his head furiously, his curls shook as his eyes widened, “And they call me crazy. Liam, you don’t love me the way I love L.T. It’s just pity affection, everyone has that. You feel the need to fix me and you associate fixing me with love. Don’t be stupid.”

Liam leant forward, “No, you don’t get it. Ever since I’ve met you I’ve just wanted to get to know you. I want you to open up to me and tell me all your worst fears. I want to be there for you when you cry and help you through the tough times. I want to be more than L.T ever was to you. I can be more than him if you give me a chance.”

“I could never love you. You don’t understand me Liam, you might think you do but you really fucking don’t. I don’t love like normal people or like you. I feel no romantic feelings for anyone, it took me a long time to realise this but I understand myself now. L.T is the only person I felt myself fall in love with and it was scary for me, fuck, it was frightening. I can’t imagine feeling this way for anyone and I can’t imagine you feel anything close to that. L.T is it for me, he’s the only one who can make me feel this way. The thought of romantic feelings before L.T repulsed me, I could never imagine myself with someone in any romantic relationship. And I still can’t imagine myself with someone other than him. You have a fiance, Liam. You can’t throw away all you built up for some flash of affection.”

Liam’s head dropped into his hands, his fingers tangled in his hair as the smell of the sterile environment drowned him.

“If L.T didn’t exist and if you had a different childhood, do you think we could've been together?”   
If it wasn’t so quiet in the lonely room Harry wouldn’t have heard Liam’s broken whisper.

“I don’t think I’d be any different. I’d always feel like something was missing, it wouldn’t be the same. In other universes, I’d like to think I’d always end up with L.T and if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be fully happy with myself. I’d only love you if I wasn’t me if that makes any sense.”

Liam took a deep breath as he sat up, “It makes sense, I won’t bother you with any more questions.”

Liam sullenly got up from his chair and approached the door.

“Hey, Liam,” Harry called out.

Liam turned his head to face the curly haired beauty. “Yes?”

“You’ll get over me, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you on that,” Liam chuckled as he slid his keycard to open the door.

A couple minutes after he left Harry closed his eyes and thought of Louis.

He hoped he was happy with him.

 

*

 

It felt like hours that Harry laid in his bed in silence. He wonders if he missed his own family's’ funerals. He wonders if any of his family’s friends would even want him there. Harry’s mind drifts to Niall and how he saw the life drain from his eyes. He watched as his friend was brutally murdered and he did nothing.

But deep down Harry knows something isn’t right within himself.

He doesn’t feel the destructive sadness that one should feel over the death of a friend, over family, and over anyone in general that they’ve met. He’s witnessed most of them but he can’t seem to muster a tear anymore.

Bile threatens to rise up Harry’s throat as he realises he doesn’t feel sad about their deaths.

He feels disgusting to be the cause of it, he truly does, but them being alive doesn’t matter to him.

He won’t admit it but deep down he’s glad they’re dead.

And even deeper down, in the darkest parts of his heart, he’s glad he witnessed it.

A part of him even misses not seeing his family get murdered. The feeling of power and justice surged through him with every blood spatter. As if he could control their fate, as if he was his own God.

Harry gasped as he shook his head free of the dark thoughts. He wasn’t going to let it control him. He wasn’t going to slip into that dark abyss anymore.

Harry let out a cry of anger as he thrashed in his bed.

He didn’t want to become this monster inside of him. The vile thing that haunts his every thought and breath. Harry just wanted to feel calmness again like he felt when he laid with Louis.

God, he misses Louis.

He misses his tan skin, the crinkles that edge his eyes when he laughs, the feeling of his fingers across his skin and through his hair, the strum of his heartbeat, the sound of his voice.

But he left him.

A part of Harry had given up hope of Louis coming for him as the weeks passed by. The passion for Louis’ return dwindled with every passing minute.

The creak of his room’s door startled him as his emerald eyes shot up at the visitor.

Tears threatened to spill as he took in his appearance.

“L-Louis!”

Harry attempted to jump out to touch the blue-eyed man but was wrenched back by his handcuffs.

Louis was more beautiful than he remembered. He was dressed in nurse wear from head to toe, his hair swooped far down across his tan skin, his lips were a beautiful shade of pastel pink, and scruff graced his sharp jawline.

“Oh, Harry.” Louis’ voice wavered like it was about to break. The man stumbled forward and fell upon the curly boy with his arms outstretched to embrace him.

Harry cried silently as he dug his face into the crevice of Louis’ neck. He smelled just like Harry remembered and it only made him break down more.

“Please tell me I’m not dreaming.” Harry cried in a mumble against Louis’ skin. The fabric of the nurse wear was uncomfortable against his skin but he squeezed Louis closer to him.

Louis squeezed him back, “You’re not, baby, I promise. I’m so sorry, god. I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave you again, I’m so sorry,” Louis cried in a bumbling mess.

Louis whispered repeated apologies into Harry’s hair as he gripped him tighter. Both were unwilling to let go of one another.

Harry had a whirlwind of emotions bursting inside of him but he settled for pressing watery kisses down Louis’ neck.

“Don’t leave me again, Louis, please don’t leave me.”

Louis sobbed as he rambled on about how he wouldn’t leave Harry ever again.

If there was a God out there Harry would like to think he was smiling down on them. He went through physiological hell and pain, but he suffered through, all for Louis. Everything he does is for Louis.

Louis pulled back regretfully and cupped Harry’s face with his hands.

“I did this to you. Baby, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Tears trickled down Louis’ face, only making his blue eyes shine brighter.

“I love you,” Harry whispered in a broken tone, he leaned forward so that their lips were grazing one another.

He missed the feeling of Louis’ lips and the feeling of his hands, he craved them more than anything.

Louis’ breath hitched, “I love you too.”

With one small motion their lips collided, the pain and bitterness seemed to have washed away as the feeling of Louis’ soft lips pressed upon him. It was soft and tentative the way they kissed one another. It was unreal how every kiss urged him to want another. Louis was an addiction he never wanted to quit.

The sound of their lips moving together filled the room. It was a symphony to Harry’s ears. He wanted to never let Louis out of his grip, he wanted to coddle him and protect him until his dying day.

He had him.

After all the wishing and pain.

He would finally get his own happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this being shorter than usual and probably boring. I know this wasn't what you probably had in mind but I tried my best to make it entertaining. 
> 
> Leave a comment and a kudos xx


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